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Larceny
Larceny

Larceny

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$30.00
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$30.00
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Penelope “Pinky” Carmichael, of the notoriously bumbling Suc Gang, is wanted for larceny. Specifically, stealing pink flamingos and lawn gnomes from her neighbor’s lawns. We know she’s the guilty party as she’s been seen repeatedly by the neighbors mid-steal. She’ll stop and talk to her neighbor, then suddenly rip the poor gnome off the lawn, give the neighbor the finger, and run away. We’re still not sure why she’s doing this, as she doesn’t even have a lawn, she lives six floors up in a high-rise apartment. She places all the flamingos and gnomes in the windows to look down upon the neighbors, and she’s often heard yelling the phrase “Flamingnome Kingdom” as she runs away with her stolen goods.

And yes, we know her full name as her mail is often mis-delivered to the very neighbors she steals from. Pinky, we’ll give you back your 2015 tax bill if you just return the ornaments! What is the point of this nonsense? You know they aren’t real, right? Your gnome battalion isn’t secretly coming alive to do your bidding at night, no matter how many you steal. Maybe go see a therapist.


Scent notes: sweet salted caramel, almond, a freshly opened jar of pure Canadian maple butter, coconut milk.