Scent Notes: Lily of the valley blooming in fresh sea air, warm amber and cedar, bergamot.

Loretta kept her eyes on the screen, typing at a pretty decent pace for a woman who grew up before computers were commonplace. She still wasn’t fully computer literate per se, but she knew what she needed to do her job well, and that was all that mattered to her. She’d been at this company for nearly forty years; everything ran through her. But now, that was all ending. Retirement was hours away. She had finished training her replacement as best as she could, and while she had mixed feelings about the situation because retirement is a huge life change, mostly she was excited to not have to come into this office every single day. 

While she was great at the job, and had done it for such a long time, that didn’t mean she loved it. Long ago she’d realized the importance of separating her self-worth from her employment, which had saved her sanity many, many times over. She had a collection of phrases that she used quite often when dealing with unreasonable clients, coworkers, or bosses. One of her favorites was, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Her second-most used one was, “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” Loretta did have a bit of a “potty mouth,” as she used to say sheepishly if someone heard her mutter a curse word under her breath. Over the years, with coworkers she trusted, she’d let slip a cuss or two. Her favorite coworker, Lacy, was the one she cursed with the most. Years ago, Lacy was venting to Loretta about a problem, and ended her complaint with, “I couldn’t give a fuck.” Loretta laughed and responded, quietly, that she herself was “fresh out of fucks.” Now, whenever one of them needed to say they were exhausted and tired of solving problems, they’d just say “Foof” to each other. No one else in the office knew what it meant. Everyone else seemed to think it was an odd sigh of frustration; only Lacy and Loretta knew better. 

“Loretta! Stop working, it’s time for your party!” her boss’s voice rang out across the office, forcing Loretta to stop one of the final tasks she was trying to complete before leaving. “I’ll be right there!” she answered, saving her progress and deciding that, yeah, you know what? It’s fine. What did it matter to her if these things were completed on Monday? She wouldn’t be there anymore! She’d be at home, doing whatever she wanted, not worrying about spreadsheets, monthly reports, if Frank did his work on time for once, or if Charlie would make an inappropriate comment to her in the break room. No; she’s basically retired now. After the party was over, the office would be closed, so why not go celebrate? She’d sent her replacement home early to enjoy her last hours of freedom before having to spend 40 hours a week here. She wrote a quick note on a post-it and put it on the screen for her replacement so she could pick up where Loretta left off on Monday.

The moment Loretta walked into the conference room where her retirement party was being held, she was quickly engulfed in a very big hug from Lacy. “I’m going to miss you so much!” Lacy said. “You’re just going to be Foof all the time now without me!” Their boss overheard and chimed in with, “You ladies say that word all the time. What does that mean?” “I can SHOW you what it means,” Lacy said while putting a gift bag in Loretta’s hands. “Open it up! I think you’re going to love it.” Loretta looked at Lacy quizzically. She could see there was a card but she ignored it to open later, in private, knowing it would probably make her cry. “What on earth did you get me?” Loretta asked, taking out something soft wrapped in tissue paper. She unfolded it delicately, then continued unfolding what was inside: a shirt of some kind. When it was fully unfolded, Loretta started cackling with delight. Lacy joined in. “Come on, show us!” their boss said. Loretta turned the shirt around, and in big, bold letters, it said: FRESH OUT OF FUCKS. “The perfect retirement gift,” Loretta said as she hugged Lacy tightly.

Scent Notes: Lily of the valley blooming in fresh sea air, warm amber and cedar, bergamot.