Discontinued Scent Notes
What's this?
Well, we rotate some (ok, a lot!) of our fragrances annually. Some of our suppliers stop making seasonal ingredients, and also we get bored and need space in the lab for new things.
The intention here is to have an imperfect, constantly added-to list. I'm copying and pasting directly off of our shop notes to get the first big batch up and running. You'll notice that it isn't formatted perfectly, and there will be misspellings here and there. I had to either let my perfectionism go, or never, ever do it. It is here, and it is perfectly imperfect!
I've also included all of the stories, because they make me smile! It's a very long document, so I suggest you use CTRL+F or another search method of your choice to skip through to what you're looking for. Enjoy!
YULE COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Hot espresso with juniper berries and brown sugar.
Scent Notes: Bright oranges and vanillas with a playful splash of red rose.
Scent Notes: Two vanillas swirl with sharp peppercorns.
Scent Notes: Rich vanillas, freshly ground nutmeg, Christmas spices, children's tears.
Scent Notes: Bright grassy greens, fresh basil, crushed peppermint.
Scent Notes: Warm fur, pines and Douglas fir. Oakmoss, coumarin, allspice, and a cup of very hot tea.
THE BOOZY CHRISTMAS COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Absinthe, glowing red musk, bitter accord, myrrh, vetiver.
Scent Notes: Amaretto, vanilla cream, a sprinkle of nutmeg.
Scent Notes: Rich chocolatey stout, a comfy flannel shirt, allspice, sandalwood, vanilla bean.
Scent Notes: Eggnog sprinkled with allspice, ginger, cardamom, and nutmeg.
Scent Notes: Frangelico, butterscotch candies, black oud, amber.
Scent Notes: Hot buttered rum, bright oranges, spices.
Scent Notes: Rich hot cocoa with mountains of fluffy marshmallows and a touch of coconut cream pie, tempered with a touch of patchouli and incense.
Scent Notes: Strong black tea, lemon, honey, and a touch of cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Irish cream, salted caramel, espresso.
Scent Notes: Red wine mulled with cinnamon, oranges, brown sugar and pepper, grapefruit and cardamom, and a hint of bitter accord.
THE SUPERNATURAL COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Toasted marshmallows, church incense, frankincense and myrrh, tuberose.
DRIVER PICKS THE MUSIC, SHOTGUN SHUTS HIS CAKEHOLE
Scent Notes: Cool night air and leather seats, peach pie, salt and sparkling aldehydes.
Scent Notes: Mexican hot chocolate with warm milk and spices, a well worn flannel shirt, and liquid pools of amber.
Scent Notes: Oatmeal stout, oak trees at night, the smell of a freshly fired Colt, incense from church, your favorite flannel shirt.
Scent Notes: You're walking through a meadow full of flowers towards an old lemon tree when it begins to drizzle. You dance in the rain, amongst the flowers. You're having the best time, when you catch a whiff of metal. The Chevy you know all too well has pulled up to take you on an adventure.
Scent Notes: Hot metal, campfires in the woods and old books, flannel shirts and a touch of coriander.
THE LOVELY LITTLE DEATHS COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Antique lace, gasoline, old books, fresh vanilla bean.
Scent Notes: A freshly picked red rose, old leather, white musk.
Scent Notes: A bouquet of fresh-blooming frangipani, gardenia, jasmine, and honeysuckle, redolent indole, Egyptian musk.
Special Note: This fragrance is not for everyone! It contains high amounts of the aromachemical indole. For some, this will result in a rich, exquisite white floral. For others, frankly, it'll smell like cat shit. Which experience you get will depend entirely on your unique skin chemistry and how the fragrance reacts. Either way, we think the bottle art is super cool.
Scent Notes: A beautiful, bittersweet blend of almond and cherry.
Scent Notes: A rich, loamy walk through a pine forest. Oakmoss and coumarin dry down to black musk.
Scent Notes: A big glass of whiskey, sandalwood, amber, real ylang ylang.
Scent Notes: Oud wood, smoked patchouli, coal, freshly paved tar, cedarwood.
Scent Notes: Anise, freshly ground cloves, dalmatian sage, frankincense.
STEEL ROSES: SELF-AWARE FAIRY TALES COLLECTION
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young woman named Aurora who lived with her overly-protective parents, formerly the king and queen of the land, and three crazy aunts. She spent most of her days in her tower bedroom, reading romance novels and daydreaming. Apparently, a woman who lived in town had not been invited to her first birthday party, and it pissed this lady off enough to put a curse on baby Aurora.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: Wild rose, lavender, deep woods accord, a sprig of rosemary, cedar, freshly ground clove, bergamot.
Once upon a time, there was a young couple named Martha and John. One morning, they were sitting across from each other at the table, quietly eating breakfast. “Oooh, ouch!” Martha suddenly exclaimed, clutching her swollen stomach. “Darling, are you okay?” John asked. Martha was getting to be quite pregnant, nearly 8 months along, so every little thing she did or said immediately made John pay attention.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: White rose, white musk, white thyme, a summer rainstorm, neroli, gardenia, a perfectly ripe grapefruit, kumquat, orange blossom, neroli, red mandarin, fresh dalmatian sage.
Once upon a time, there lived a young girl named Madeline. Her parents had adopted her at a young age. According to them, they were on a walk through the woods with her grandmother, and they found her quietly sitting under a tree. Nobody else was around, so they took the girl in and raised her as if she were their own. Which was convenient, as her father had been assigned female even before he had been born, so having the chance to take in a child seemed like a sign, or like something out of a fairy tale. Which is also convenient, because they were living in a fairy tale.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: Wild rose, cedarwood, smoke, leather.
Once upon a time, there lived two queens who were married to each other. They had been together for many years, and were growing old. While Madeline had been beautiful, it was her wife, Elizabeth, who was truly stunning. Her hair had been a bright shade of orange; now, it was mostly naturally white, but Elizabeth adhered to a strict hair dying schedule. Madeline aged gracefully, embracing and openly flaunting her wrinkles, scars, and white hair; Elizabeth would sooner die than show everyone what she perceived as her faults.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: English rose, honey, sea salt, dragonsblood.
Once upon a time, Snow White had reigned as queen for many years. She’d never been married, although she’d had a string of lovers, none had ever committed. What’s a queen without a king though? Historically speaking, more powerful and awesome, which is exactly what happened to Snow White. She had, though, successfully found seven brides for her seven brothers, and had a near-army of nieces and nephews who had grown up in the castle and she’d doted on as if they were her own.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: Wild rose, rich dark chocolate, fresh vanilla bean, burnt sugar, whiskey, bourbon, an old library in a dusty castle, patchouli, a cold creamsicle on a hot day, expensive, premium bacon.
Sarah woke up with a start from a series of strange dreams. She’d been several different princesses, queens, and other fairy tale folk over the course of what was only a night, but had seemed like centuries. It really felt like she had been there; as if the worlds in her dreams were alive and bright, right before her very eyes. But that was impossible. Right?....Read more here.
Scent Notes: Wild rose, English rose, white rose, woodsmoke, patchouli, dragonsblood, metallic copper, metal, smoky incense.
Ellie sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes at her mother, Alice, who was relating for the thousandth time the odd stories of her childhood. It all sounded like a bunch of fairy tale nonsense to her; absolutely impossible and far-too-conveniently wrapped up, with so many fantastical elements Alice might be on drugs at this very moment. Alice saw her daughter’s eye roll, and pointed a french fry in Ellie’s face. “Seriously! I fell through the mirror into an alternate universe! I spoke to flowers and a giant caterpillar and had to outrun being beheaded by an evil queen using a flamingo as a croquet mallet!”.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: Tiny wild roses blooming on the forest floor, rich, spiced rosewood, vanilla laced with patchouli and sweet resins.
Once upon a time, the queen was throwing a tantrum, again. She was pacing the halls of her wing of the castle, wailing to any and all who came near. Her staff dealt with this several times a week, so they were used to it. “There are NO PRINCESSES LEFT,” she wept, throwing pillows on the ground. “Nobody will love my son!” she wailed, emptying half her wardrobe into the room. “We will never have a royal heir! Our family is RUINED!” she screeched, smashing several vases. “My chambers are a MESS!” she screamed, throwing open the door to see two startled maids, who were waiting to be yelled at. “CLEAN THIS UP!” she yelled, striding down the hallway and ripping down a family pennant from the wall. “AND GET ME A NEW ONE OF WHATEVER THAT WAS,” she cried over her shoulder.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: Moss-covered stones warmed by the sun and shining with a recent rain. Wild roses, heather, tuberose and labdanum blend with a drop of oakmoss.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Cindy, who was currently in the midst of sighing dramatically. “Why does nobody take me seriously?” It was Friday at 9PM. It was also the earliest she’d been home all week — as a litigator trying to make partner at Tremaine Thomas LLP, ‘early’ evenings like this one were a rarity for her. She’d been drudging her way through for years, slowly working her way up. But it wasn’t easy, as she was earth-shatteringly beautiful, and nobody believed that she had a brain to match. Which was absurd; she had litigated some of the highest profile cases for the firm and, more importantly, WON them. A lot of her colleagues, however, thought she won only because she had a pretty face and juries naturally trusted beautiful people.... Read more here.
Scent Notes: A vase of blooming white roses next to a handmade journal overstuffed with pages. Spicy aromas of clove and cardamom waft through on the breeze from an open window.
THE BROKEN HEARTS COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Rich nougat of vanilla, tonka bean, and heavy cream poured over marshmallows.
Scent Notes: Salted dark chocolate truffles with spiced caramel cores, and a shot of whiskey.
Scent Notes: A fizzing glass of champagne filled with fresh strawberries.
Scent Notes: Butter pecan ice cream with tiny speckles of salt and crystalized honey.
Scent Notes: Decadent black forest cake with brown sugar, juicy cherries, and a hearty splash of cherry kirsch.
THE SHADOW WITCH COLLECTION
Scent Notes: A black, mossy, wet bog, dripping with fungi. Subtle brushes of artemisia, Atlas cedar, carrot seed, and labdanum. A hint of animalic musk.
Scent Notes: Freshly cut magnolias and moonflowers play with nutmeg cream.
Scent Notes: A bucket of half-eaten candy resting on a table in a craft room full of bits of paper and leather. Balls of warm wool yarn and the sharp spice of ginger, while glowing white amber light streams through the window. A mug of forgotten spicy hot chocolate cools on the windowsill.
Scent Notes: A gorgeous blend of pistachio and frangipani with a handful of candy play off sinister undertones of smoking hot tar, dirt, and blood.
Scent Notes: Late summer peaches and grapefruit fizz and shine against a backdrop of Fall leaves in a rosewood forest.
Scent Notes: Guiac and cedarwoods, oleander, osmanthus, coriander, a smudge of dirt and drop of blood. Oakmoss, red currants, red and black musks.
Scent Notes: A spicy Eastern-inspired fragrance. Osmanthus, ginger lily and orris play against spices and sandalwood.
BLOOD DRUNK COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Cozy warm blankets, cloves, butter cookies, blood accord.
Scent Notes: Juicy red fruit: pomegranate, apple, black cherry. Dark rum, dragon's blood and cherry tobacco. A hint of blood accord.
Scent Notes: Red lipstick accord, animalic musk, guiac wood, blood accord.
Scent Notes: A spicy, beguiling blend of Egyptian musk, elemi, cassia, myrrh, cardamom, and bitter accord. And blood.
Scent Notes: Dark, rich cherry and rosewoods, osmanthus, fresh blood.
SHADOW WITCH COLLECTION
Scent Notes: A single glowing ember radiating heat. Juniper, sweet benzoin resin, and a tiny drop of spicy camphor. A single wisp of smoke.
Scent Notes: A well-guarded fortress atop an icy mountain. A rich, frothy vanilla drink laced with peppermint, fennel, and cardamom. Torches smoke, incense burns.
FROZEN EMBERS COLLECTION
Scent Notes: White thyme, freshly ground black pepper, black jasmine, amber.
Scent Notes: Rosemary, finely grated ginger, cedarwood, fresh mahogany, teak.
Scent Notes: Smoky meat (mmm, bacon), campfire, sweet cherry tobacco.
Scent Notes: The clashing of heavy leather meeting silky peppermint; smoke and cinnamon; snow and blood orange.
Scent Notes: Ancient incense burnt in a tomb of darkness; the blood of a hundred dragons; Bay Laurel; pure, raw honey.
Scent Notes: Juniper sage, neroli, patchouli, cedar planks, saffron.
Scent Notes: Pine needles, cedar planks, eucalyptus, mossy oak, fresh lemon verbena.
Scent Notes: The tangy musk of a frightened animal running for its life, smoke from the flames of a divinatory fire made by the Lord of Light himself, carrot seed oil applied liberally to the dead body of a hero to help raise him from beyond the pale, ancient incense wafting from the back of a chapel, spicy cinnamon sticks procured from an ancient, trusted, and tired market vendor.
Scent Notes: A perfect pink orchid gleaming on a windowsill, a bouquet of lily of the valley clutched in the hands of a sobbing bride, well-oiled rosewood chess pieces knocked over in a rage mid-match from atop a large teak dining table.
Scent Notes: Rich chocolate, patchouli, freshly whipped buttercream, peasant dirt.
Scent Notes: Licorice, anise, smoky campfire, fresh cedarwood.
APRIL FOOL'S COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Honey fresh from the comb, ripe, juicy figs and lychees, and salty pistachios on your fanciest platter, awaiting the addition of the star of the show: cheese. (Cheese not included.)
Scent Notes: Freshly baked black bread with honey and butter. A hot and crispy chicken basting away with dalmatian sage, white thyme, rosemary, and pepper.
Scent Notes: A grown up version of the high school classic. Mellow musk melons and crisp cucumbers, but with a large dash of zesty orange citrus, ripe grapefruit, and a hint of bergamot.
Scent Notes: Blood accord, blood oranges, and vanilla cream.
Scent Notes: A totally unapologetic haunted cathedral. Rich, dark resins, thick incense, beeswax candles, frankincense and myrrh. Cool stone floors and cloves, red musk and sassafras. Clary sage and wormwood. Guiac wood and patchouli, and a whisper of black jasmine, and wait … what’s that smell? Oh wow, yeah, that’s some animalic musk right there. Whoa. Intense, feral, but oddly satisfying when mixed with all the other scents of this clearly spooky cathedral.
Scent Notes: Old leatherbound books, a cup of hot chai tea, scones, and elegant cold cream … and meat, obviously.
FIREFLY-INSPIRED COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Rain, salt spray, green fig, warm sunshine in a fresh meadow.
Scent Notes: White thyme, dalmation sage, sweetgrass, gunsmoke.
CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL
Scent Notes: Palmarosa, cactus flower, yuzu, mango, dirt, leather.
Scent Notes: Golden honey, rich leather.
Scent Notes: Glowing amber, vanilla, smoked patchouli, roses.
Scent Notes: Dark chocolate, dirt, incense, black pepper.
Scent Notes: Tobacco, vanilla, gunsmoke, leather, sandalwood.
Scent Notes: Petrichor, bergamot, fresh green air, galbanum, guiac wood.
NO POWER IN THE 'VERSE CAN STOP ME
Scent Notes: A fearless blend of tuberose, sweet oud, nicotina, and rosewood.
Scent Notes: Juniper sage, orange blossom, white tea, cherry blossom, ylang ylang, nag champa, spicy ginger.
Scent Notes: Grapefruit, bergamot, white thyme, dalmation sage, black pepper.
Scent Notes: Gunsmoke, ginger, wasabi, dragon's blood, metal.
Scent Notes: Rosemary, vanilla, amber, honey.
HALLOWEEN MONSTERS COLLECTION
Scent Notes: An ancient, ethereal library lit by gaslight and glowing incense, frankincense and bay laurel, the simple cotton winding sheet of the dearly departed, swirls of vanilla and coal dust, old crumpled magazines; vanilla bean; freshly-washed crisp cotton; bay laurel; ancient, smoky incense; frankincense.
Scent Notes: Burnt sugar, baby powder, nag champa, real ylang ylang, a perfect sunflower, palmarosa, fresh figs, a moonlit night, decadent pomegranate, blood, white musk.
Scent Notes: Crisp sea salt; tobacco leaf; burnt sugar; freshly poured pavement; carrot seed. (This is a challenging blend, with a few sour/unpleasant notes at first that dissipate to a strange, delightful blend of sweet and salty with a touch of rot. Not for the faint of heart!)
Scent Notes: Oud wood, pipe tobacco, real vanilla, sandalwood, freshly cracked black pepper, finely grated ginger root.
Scent Notes: A bubbling concoction of thick, resinous elimi brewed in a cauldron in the stone cellars of an old, forgotten manor house. Candles light the walls and have dripped for hundreds of years. Cardamom and sweet oud, and an unexpected touch of bright sassafras.
Scent notes: Murky deep ocean water, fresh sea moss, rich amber, metal.
Scent notes: A farm in the fall, complete with hay rides for the whole family. A mossy bonfire crackles in the distance, where people are gathered around, eating sweet pumpkin cookies.
WINTER COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow.
Scent Notes: Cold stream water, petrichor and snowdrifts. Ginger, coriander, and sweet oud, douglas fir and white amber.
Scent Notes: A rich beating heart of warm ambers. Hardwoods from guiac and rose woods, and soft notes from cedarwood.
Scent Notes: An enormous blizzard on a cold winter’s night, a fireworks explosion.
Scent Notes: A big glass of merlot, cinnamon sticks, freshly grated nutmeg, cedarwood, pure honey, frankincense, myrrh, sweet sugar plums.
Scent Notes: Atlas cedarwood and pine, white amber, orange, and a drop of peppermint.
Scent Notes: Cedar, a cool stream in a dense forest, a sudden rainstorm, oakmoss, decaying wood.
Scent Notes: A hot piping glass of eggnog, spiked with the finest whiskey. A dash of vanilla and spices to finish.
THE PIE COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Crisp fall apples, flaky crust, and a dusting of cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Creamy banana cream pie in a freshly baked crust.
Scent Notes: Crunchy candied pecans, pie crust and cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Creamy pumpkin, fresh pie crust, nutmeg dusting.
THE ALCHEMIST COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Swirls of pipe tobacco around a plate of nutty toffee and caramels. A pile of old books and a touch of nag champa. Candle wax dripping from the sconce by the wingback leather chair, and cheerful labdanum wafting through the open window.
Scent Notes: Sweet pumpkin souffle dotted with marshmallows and drizzled with buttery maple syrup. Tuberose wafts through the open front door.
Scent Notes: Fizzing key limes topped with coconut cream, served on a black linen tablecloth.
Scent Notes: Oakmoss and labdanum grows on the ancient stone walls of a legendary library. The last peach blossoms blow through the air as autumn sets in, and the last meyer lemon hangs from the tree. Rows and piles of ancient tomes sit, waiting, while students read by the light of carefully protected wax candles.
Scent Notes: A rich, decadent gourmand of double salted caramel, marzipan, and coumarin, with a dash of old teakwood.
Scent Notes: Rich lavender honeycomb is at the heart of this fragrance, with hints of elderberry, oud wood, clove, and patchouli.
Scent Notes: Smoky palo santo, mysterious absinthe with bright drops of bergamot and oranges, Atlas cedar, sweet fennel, bitter accord.
Scent Notes: Bright, gleaming metals shine against a familiar background of oranges, cloves, and cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Chocolate peppermint fudge and a fizz of late autumn figs.
Scent Notes: A green, leafy concoction of galbanum, anise, peppermint, white thyme, with a grounding base of tobacco.
Scent Notes: Rain beats on old, weathered cobblestones. A cup of your favorite hot mocha steams next to a bowl of black cherries and black currants. A sprig of wormwood sits, waiting.
Scent Notes: Pumpkin spice incense, bright pink peppercorns, an early dusting of snow.
A VERY BOOZY CHRISTMAS
ABSINTHEScent Notes: Absinthe, glowing red musk, bitter accord, myrrh, vetiver.
Scent Notes: Amaretto, vanilla cream, a sprinkle of nutmeg.
Scent Notes: Rich chocolatey stout, a comfy flannel shirt, allspice, sandalwood, vanilla bean.
Scent Notes: Eggnog sprinkled with allspice, ginger, cardamom, and nutmeg.
Scent Notes: Frangelico, butterscotch candies, black oud, amber.
Scent Notes: Hot buttered rum, bright oranges, spices.
Scent Notes: Rich hot cocoa with mountains of fluffy marshmallows and a touch of coconut cream pie, tempered with a touch of patchouli and incense.
Scent Notes: Strong black tea, lemon, honey, and a touch of cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Irish cream, salted caramel, espresso.
Scent Notes: Red wine mulled with cinammon, oranges, brown sugar and pepper, grapefruit and cardamom, and a hint of bitter accord.
FALLPOCALYPSE COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Pumpkin spice is the star of this sexy scent, in combination with some spicy chai tea. Burnt sugar, like marshmallows roasted on a campfire, and a bit of that campfire’s smoke, to boot. Because it’s the apocalypse and the world is burning, there’s a quick hit of tar when it’s first applied; but that fades into the delicately sexy, sweet, and spicy blend of pumpkin, chai, smoke, and burnt sugar. Everyone’s gonna want a bite out of you.
Scent Notes: Hot apple cider with a generous splash of Kentucky Bourbon, honeyed cloves, dalmation sage, and a touch of cinnamon.
Scent Notes: Warm snickerdoodle cookies dipped in buttercream frosting, campfire wood smoke, crisp red apple, Indian sandalwood, a freshly poured oatmeal stout, orange spiced chai tea.
Scent Notes: Blood oranges soaked in rich spices with a tinge of metallic blood.
Scent Notes: A pile of burning maple leaves in a sun warmed meadow at dusk.
BLACK FLAME COLLECTION
Scent Notes: Absinthe and whiskey, pistachio green tea, oakwood and Egyptian musk.
Scent Notes: A basket of kittens, candy corn, butterscotch to lure the children. Animalic and black musks hint at something sinister underneath...
Scent Notes: White chocolate, animalic musk, camphor.
Scent Notes: Wormwood, bitter almond, figs, violets, nicotina, sparkling aldehyde.
Scent Notes: Red musk and elderberry, cloves, myrrh, and clary sage, gunpowder soaked in honey.
DR. FANTASTIC'S
ALL-NATURAL MAGICAL HEALTH RESTORATIVE
Scent Notes: White musk, rosemary, fresh-picked lavender, pine needles, cedarwood, bay laurel.
DR. FANTASTIC'S PERFECT SOLUTION
Scent Notes: A bottle of delicious merlot, freshly squeezed lime, a clover field, copper, stormy ocean water.
Scent Notes: Three types of sage: blackberry, dalmatian, and juniper, cactus flower, gasoline, musty white musk.
Scent Notes: Fresh bamboo, sweet yuzu, an old, dusty library, exotic spices, smoky nag champa, ylang ylang.
THE VILLAINESS COLLECTION (or: The bumbling adventures of Captain Mansplain)
“It’s really quite simple,” Captain Mansplain said. “I found your secret lair in the easiest way: you sent me a note to come here to, I believe you said, ‘Meet my doom.’” He made exaggerated air quotes as he said it, because of course he did. “Although I don’t believe you really meant that, and let me explain why.”
“No, that’s exactly what I--” Feminista started to say.
Continue reading here
Scent Notes: A cauldron full of a dark, bubbling, poisonous liquid with a distinct animal musk note wafting from the fumes and simmering bubbles, oudh wood, spicy dragon’s blood.
Captain Mansplain awoke in a dungeon he didn’t recognize, with a splitting headache. “This is definitely not my own personal dungeon, where I have absolutely never awoken after a rowdy night with a woman I most sincerely did not pay for who robbed me and locked me in my own dungeon. I’d recognize that place. This dungeon is most sincerely a foreign dungeon. Probably that rotten Feminista’s place. Ugh.”
Continue reading here
Scent Notes: A freshly baked vanilla cupcake topped with buttercream, and marzipan, sprinkled with burnt sugar and a small drizzle of honey, left on the countertop with a lovely note telling you to eat it, and you have no reason at all to suspect that it’s poisoned except for that slightly faint hint of wormwood coming through the sweetness but hey, someone needs to eat this delicious cupcake right? There’s no way this could end poorly.
Captain Mansplain found himself, once again, in a large room in Feminista’s evil hideout. The room was empty except for a large compressed air pipe about midway up the wall behind him. He suspected cameras must be mounted somewhere in the ceiling, although he didn’t see any.
Continue reading here
Scent Notes: Cedar logs burning in the great outdoors, smoky patchouli, Balsam of Peru (fancy, we know), a lavender grove on a perfect spring day, a sprinkle of anise.
WE'RE REALLY NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I
Captain Mansplain laid on his back on the floor of the empty room, trapped in Feminista’s evil hideout. Oh, the humanity. Maybe he really had come to this terrible place to die. Maybe this is what happens when you make yourself a superhero. Perhaps the world doesn’t *need* a Captain Mansplain. Maybe he really is a bad superhero.
Continue reading here
Scent Notes: A bottle of expensive Merlot, crisp Anjou pear, a ripe Valencia orange, tart lemon, juicy kumquat. Basically, really delicious sangria.
Captain Mansplain awoke, not for the first time, in Feminista’s secret island lair. Only this time, he was tied to a post that was hanging from the ceiling in a large room, completely unable to move. His mouth was shut with duct tape, and he could tell that the side of his face was bruised and aching. The metal floor felt hot beneath his feet, and it appeared that the floor could slide apart, like so many evil villain’s lair floors are wont to do. (Who makes slidable floors? He wondered to himself. Is that a good business to get into? Maybe I should try that. I wonder if I could wear a cape on the job?) He would have expressed his thoughts aloud, and indeed he was trying to, but the duct tape made it impossible to talk, so he was mostly chewing on it.
Continue reading here
Scent Notes: Intense ambergris, freshly ground cardamom pods, molten honey, cocoa absolute, benzoin tree resin. (Note: if you get this scent as a perfume oil, some separation may occur; that’s perfectly natural!)
MISC. HOUSE SCENTS
Scent Notes: Honeycomb, Indian sandalwood, Egyptian musk, coumarin, champagne bubbles.
Scent Notes: It starts out as a lovely crisp green caramel apple with a touch of spice, then makes a handbrake turn to heavy spiced incense with elemi and a tiiiiiny bit of apple.
Scent Notes: Unapologetic candied grapefruit, crisp cold rice milk, beeswax, rich tonka, and osmanthus.
Scent Notes: Fresh cut lavender, black anise, sweet vanilla bean, black pepper crushed under a unicorn’s horn.
Scent Notes: A patter of paws running through a field of daisies, lavender, and sweet peas. Marshmallow clouds pass overhead. Sunflowers, warm fur, and white musk.
Scent Notes: Sweet, crisp apples with ginger and lemongrass on a bed of freshly fallen autumn leaves.
Scent Notes: Ruby red pomegranate seeds found in darkest Hades. As you walk to the surface, a whisper of Spring heliotrope flowers are barely glimpsed through the thick layers of smoke and ash.
Scent Notes: Drops of blood on warm leather, wisps of smoke, hot metal, and a freshly picked, juicy blood orange.
Scent Notes: Salt water and greenery, tendrils of smoke wafting overhead hint at a slight note of metal in the air.
THEOREM 13 (Available Friday the 13th ONLY)
Scent Notes: Vanilla absolute, lavender, red musk, spices.
Scent Notes: Sweet peach tea that's been left to steep a little too long with that edge of bitterness, like crushed dreams.
Scent Notes: An array of expensive, luscious lipsticks lazing on a mirrored vanity amongst jars of expensive cold cream. This smells like 1940s glamorous movie starlets getting ready for their close up!
Scent Notes: A classic Victorian manse set ablaze, filling the air with burning books and cherry furniture, exotic spices and incense, red and black musks, and violets.
Scent Notes: Sparkling candied citrus peel, vanilla from the expensive hippie shop, Egyptian musk, cuticle cream.
Scent Notes: Black tea with a generous tot of whiskey. Grapefruit for a touch of bitter and a drop of vetiver. Nag champa and rosewood make a rich base.
Scent Notes: A strong, unrepentant blend of blood orange and black currant. Red musk, elemi, and black oud shimmer on a background of Egyptian musk and dragon's blood.
SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES
Scent Notes: She sits at the bar, drinking something that could be bourbon, or perhaps it's scotch. Both? The bar smells of fresh tobacco and aged vanilla. You need a pick me up, so you're drinking a cafe mocha spiked with rum. She turns and smiles at you, her eyes amber dark. She beckons you over, and as you walk, unable to stop yourself, the air turns earthy, a blend of patchouli and leather, the scents wafting off of her. These new notes mix with the coffee in your hand and the smell of the bar and intoxicate you more than your drink has. Uh-oh.
Scent Notes: Powdery violets, myrrh smoke drifting through a crumbling cathedral, red musk, candle wax, black roses.
Scent Notes: Sun-ripened guava juice in an ancient tomb, covered in salty caramel.
Scent Notes: A funereal wreath of white lilies and black orchids sprinkled with a dusting of graveyard dirt. A somber wake feast of dark chocolate drenched raspberries and a shot of dark rum.
Scent Notes: A perfect pumpkin puree dotted with clouds of rich cream.
Scent Notes: Creamy, buttery strawberry trifle with fresh shortcake. Resinous dragon's blood, red musk, graveyard dirt, and a drop of blood.
Scent Notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli.
Scent Notes: Freshly picked apples from one of those hipster apple orchards where everyone goes to wear flannel, beanies, and pick gigantic bushels of apples and take a ton of pictures for Instagram, except the apples are actually delicious and worth it, And those apples are in a pie. A delicious, warm pie. With melty vanilla ice cream and spices. Damn, math is awesome.
GALENTINE'S DAY (AVAILABLE ONLY VALENTINE'S DAY WEEKEND)
Scent Notes: Your best friend just showed up at your door with a gorgeous bouquet of peach blossoms, lavender, gardenia, and sweet peas, along with a jar of your favorite, outrageously expensive beauty cream, and a freshly baked vanilla cupcake covered in vanilla frosting from the French bakery down the street.
Scent Notes: Fluffy pillows of marshmallows billow on a dish of salted caramels dusted with nutmeg and toasted sugar drizzles.
Scent Notes: Red Mandarin and rich honey create a sweet first impression, luring you into smoke, patchouli, gunpowder and... Is that gasoline? Clearly, an evil plan is afoot!
Scent Notes: Vanilla, Leather, Whiskey, Amber, Frankincense, Cypress, Oud and Musk.
Scent Notes: Melted chocolate, toasted marshmallow, sweet honey graham cracker.
Scent Notes: Expensive vanilla, cedarwood, old books, lemon balm, juicy juniper berry, fresh rosemary, sweet basil, balsam peru, bergamot.
Scent Notes: juicy orange blossom, white musk, sugary marshmallow, freshly-picked kumquat, a field of lavender, and a dash of bubbly, sweet champagne.
Scent Notes: guiac and rosewoods, benzoin and laubdamum resins, allspice, coriander, fennel and a whisper of camphor.
Scent Notes: A smudge of sage; some freshly picked apples; exotic spices; juicy figs; smoky pipe tobacco; wax from the eternal candle; a smattering of other Fall delights. This is a perfect fall day full of crisp leaves.
Scent Notes: A job site full of hot metal, leather tool belts, diesel smoke, and tar barrels melting in the sun.
Scent Notes: you know when people describe a perfume as smelling like "an old lady"? This is that scent, on purpose. Dusty, powdery rose, peony, and oud wood. We like to think of it as "classic."
Scent Notes: Two black teas, a shot of espresso, a dash of sweet mocha and coffee absolute make for a caffeinated take off. Cassia and black oud come out to play on the drydown.
Scent Notes: A pillowcase full of candy from the rich neighborhood in town (you know the one, hands out full-size and king-size candy bars like they’re Jay-Z and money ain’t a thing) clutched in the happy fists of laughing children dressed as ghosts and vampires.
Scent Notes: Pears, cucumber, hay accord, ginger lily, cardamom, suede.
Scent Notes: Fresh peaches, cream, and a light cloud of magic.
Scent Notes: Rotten river mud, a few drops of blood, a swirl of tobacco smoke, sweet pumpkin pie, candy corn, tears.
Scent Notes: Animalic musk and rot, camphor, hot tar and salty tears. And Pumpkin Spice.
Scent Notes: Freshly ground coffee (obviously), spicy black pepper, nutmeg, high octane fuel, vanilla bean, bacon sizzling on the stovetop.
THE BEACH IS GONNA GET WHATEVER BODY I GIVE IT
Scent Notes: An unapologetically feminine tropical floral. Monoi tiare, pikake, frangipani, juicy lychees, and dune grass against a welcoming, salty ocean shore.
Scent Notes: Immortale absolute, chamomile, cassia and copal resin, floral aldehyde, and iso-e.
Scent Notes: Sugared tuberose, suede and lemongrass, orris and sandalwood.
Scent Notes: A fist full of cash, the last glass of champagne, green tea, peppermint (like a mint? Get it?), coumarin and sassafras.
Scent Notes: your mother’s expensive cold cream that she dutifully applied every night and now you do, too, mixed with fragrant, sumptuous black cherries.
Scent Notes: Orchids and chamomile blend with lavender, ylang ylang and hyssop. Peach blossom, sandalwood, and sparkling aldehyde bring lift and depth.