What's this? 

Well, we rotate some (ok, a lot!) of our fragrances annually. Some of our suppliers stop making seasonal ingredients, and also we get bored and need space in the lab for new things. 

The intention here is to have an imperfect, constantly added-to list. I'm copying and pasting directly off of our shop notes to get the first big batch up and running. You'll notice that it isn't formatted perfectly, and there will be misspellings here and there. I had to either let my perfectionism go, or never, ever do it. It is here, and it is perfectly imperfect! 

I've also included all of the stories, because they make me smile! It's a very long document, so I suggest you use CTRL+F or another search method of your choice to skip through to what you're looking for. Enjoy! 

BLOOD DRUNK COLLECTION

BLOOD DROP

Scent Notes: Cozy warm blankets, cloves, butter cookies, blood accord.

BLOOD DRUNK

Scent Notes: Juicy red fruit: pomegranate, apple, black cherry. Dark rum, dragon's blood and cherry tobacco. A hint of blood accord.

BLOOD LUST

Scent Notes: Red lipstick accord, animalic musk, guiac wood, blood accord.

HEART'S BLOOD

Scent Notes: A spicy, beguiling blend of Egyptian musk, elemi, cassia, myrrh, cardamom, and bitter accord. And blood.

FRESH BLOOD

Scent Notes: Dark, rich cherry and rosewoods, osmanthus, fresh blood. 

SHADOW WITCH COLLECTION

EMBER WITCH 

Scent Notes: A single glowing ember radiating heat. Juniper, sweet benzoin resin, and a tiny drop of spicy camphor. A single wisp of smoke.

ICE WITCH

Scent Notes: A well-guarded fortress atop an icy mountain. A rich, frothy vanilla drink laced with peppermint, fennel, and cardamom. Torches smoke, incense burns. 

FROZEN EMBERS COLLECTION

DIREWOLF

Scent Notes: Rosemary, finely grated ginger, cedarwood, fresh mahogany, teak.

DROGON

Scent Notes: Smoky meat (mmm, bacon), campfire, sweet cherry tobacco.

JAIME

Scent Notes: Juniper sage, neroli, patchouli, cedar planks, saffron.

APRIL FOOL'S COLLECTION

CHEESE HANGOVER

Scent Notes: Honey fresh from the comb, ripe, juicy figs and lychees, and salty pistachios on your fanciest platter, awaiting the addition of the star of the show: cheese. (Cheese not included.)

CHICKEN WITCH

Scent Notes: Freshly baked black bread with honey and butter. A hot and crispy chicken basting away with dalmatian sage, white thyme, rosemary, and pepper.

CITRUS ASS BITCH

Scent Notes: A grown up version of the high school classic. Mellow musk melons and crisp cucumbers, but with a large dash of zesty orange citrus, ripe grapefruit, and a hint of bergamot.

DA MENSIES

Scent Notes: Blood accord, blood oranges, and vanilla cream.

FERAL AS FUCK

Scent Notes: A totally unapologetic haunted cathedral. Rich, dark resins, thick incense, beeswax candles, frankincense and myrrh. Cool stone floors and cloves, red musk and sassafras. Clary sage and wormwood. Guiac wood and patchouli, and a whisper of black jasmine, and wait … what’s that smell? Oh wow, yeah, that’s some animalic musk right there. Whoa. Intense, feral, but oddly satisfying when mixed with all the other scents of this clearly spooky cathedral.

MEAT LILITH 

Scent Notes: Old leatherbound books, a cup of hot chai tea, scones, and elegant cold cream … and meat, obviously.

FIREFLY-INSPIRED COLLECTION

BIG DAMN HEROES

Scent Notes: Rain, salt spray, green fig, warm sunshine in a fresh meadow.

BROWNCOATS

Scent Notes: White thyme, dalmation sage, sweetgrass, gunsmoke.

CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL

Scent Notes: Palmarosa, cactus flower, yuzu, mango, dirt, leather.

FIREFLY

Scent Notes: Golden honey, rich leather.

I CAN KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN

Scent Notes: Glowing amber, vanilla, smoked patchouli, roses.

I'LL BE IN MY BUNK

Scent Notes: Dark chocolate, dirt, incense, black pepper.

LET'S BE BAD GUYS

Scent Notes: Tobacco, vanilla, gunsmoke, leather, sandalwood.

MINE IS AN EVIL LAUGH

Scent Notes: Petrichor, bergamot, fresh green air, galbanum, guiac wood.

NO POWER IN THE 'VERSE CAN STOP ME

Scent Notes: A fearless blend of tuberose, sweet oud, nicotina, and rosewood.

SERENITY

Scent Notes: Juniper sage, orange blossom, white tea, cherry blossom, ylang ylang, nag champa, spicy ginger.

SHINY

Scent Notes: Grapefruit, bergamot, white thyme, dalmation sage, black pepper.

VERA

Scent Notes: Gunsmoke, ginger, wasabi, dragon's blood, metal.

WE AIM TO MISBEHAVE

Scent Notes: Rosemary, vanilla, amber, honey.

ANTIQUARIAN COLLECTION

ANTIQUARIAN

Scent Notes: Sumptuous leather, old yellowed books, pipe tobacco, soft sandalwood, white musk.

AVANT GARDE

Scent Notes: The metallic, exciting swirl of a downtown city, with wisps of exhaust and hot concrete. Hot black tea and white amber bring a touch of old world class, and copal resin deepens.

BOHEMIAN

Scent Notes: Swirls of absinthe and pipe tobacco, a drop of peppermint, base of warm amber and white musk and a light feminine touch of Egyptian geranium.

LIBERTINE

Scent Notes: Spiced vanilla and amber meld with warm honeycomb. A midnight bloom of black jasmine dances with a whisper of dark palo santo.

SWASHBUCKLER

Scent Notes: A dark 'n stormy cocktail with a dash of mint in a copper mug, a worn leather scabbard, on an old wooden ship with the salty ocean misting all around.

HALLOWEEN MONSTERS COLLECTION

AZRAEL

Scent Notes: An ancient, ethereal library lit by gaslight and glowing incense, frankincense and bay laurel, the simple cotton winding sheet of the dearly departed, swirls of vanilla and coal dust, old crumpled magazines; vanilla bean; coal dust; freshly-washed crisp cotton; bay laurel; ancient, smoky incense; frankincense.  

BANSHEE

Scent Notes: Burnt sugar; baby powder; nag champa; real ylang ylang; a perfect sunflower; palmarosa; fresh figs; a moonlit night; decadent pomegranate; metallic copper; white musk. 

ELDER GOD (FORMERLY CTHULHU)

Scent Notes: Crisp sea salt; tobacco leaf; burnt sugar; freshly poured pavement; carrot seed. (This is a challenging blend, with a few sour/unpleasant notes at first that dissipate to a strange, delightful blend of sweet and salty with a touch of rot. Not for the faint of heart!) 

HOBGOBLIN

Scent Notes: Oud wood, pipe tobacco, real vanilla, sandalwood, freshly cracked black pepper, finely grated ginger root. 

HOMUNCULUS

Scent Notes: A bubbling concoction of thick, resinous elimi brewed in a cauldron in the stone cellars of an old, forgotten manor house. Candles light the walls and have dripped for hundreds of years. Cardamom and sweet oud, and an unexpected touch of bright sassafras. 

KRAKEN

Scent notes: Murky deep ocean water, fresh sea moss, rich amber, metal. 

SPECTRE

Scent notes: A farm in the fall, complete with hay rides for the whole family. A mossy bonfire crackles in the distance, where people are gathered around, eating sweet pumpkin cookies.

MOUTHY BROAD COLLECTION

CANTANKEROUS SPINSTER

Scent Notes: Fresh peppermint, chamomile, cognac essential oil, spicy ginger, Egyptian musk, and fennel.

CUNNING MINX

Scent Notes: Black sheets in a mess in the late afternoon sun. A cup of steaming tea from Tibet with milk and a dash of wormwood, you minx. Pink peppercorn and Egyptian musk because you’re classic like that.

MOUTHY BROAD

Scent Notes: A cloud of cigar smoke, freshly picked roses, a full glass of whiskey.

WINTER COLLECTION

FROZEN MOON

Scent Notes: Crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow.

GLASSWATER

Scent Notes: Cold stream water, petrichor and snowdrifts. Ginger, coriander, and sweet oud, douglas fir and white amber.

HEARTWOOD

Scent Notes: A rich beating heart of warm ambers. Hardwoods from guiac and rose woods, and soft notes from cedarwood.

LIFE SPARK

Scent Notes: An enormous blizzard on a cold winter’s night, a fireworks explosion.

LONGEST NIGHT

Scent Notes: A big glass of merlot, cinnamon sticks, freshly grated nutmeg, cedarwood, pure honey, frankincense, myrrh, sweet sugar plums.

MOONBOW

Scent Notes: Atlas cedarwood and pine, white amber, orange, and a drop of peppermint.

WHISPERING BLACK

Scent Notes: Cedar, a cool stream in a dense forest, a sudden rainstorm, oakmoss, decaying wood.

WINTERDEEP

Scent Notes: A hot piping glass of eggnog, spiked with the finest whiskey. A dash of vanilla and spices to finish.

YULE COLLECTION

BELSNICKEL

Scent Notes: Hot espresso with juniper berries and brown sugar.

FOUETTARD

Scent Notes: Bright oranges and vanillas with a playful splash of red rose.

GRYLA

Scent Notes: Two vanillas swirl with sharp peppercorns.

KRAMPUS

Scent Notes: Rich vanillas, freshly ground nutmeg, Christmas spices, children's tears.

PERCHTA

Scent Notes: Bright grassy greens, fresh basil, crushed peppermint.

YULE CAT

Scent Notes: Warm fur, pines and Douglas Fir. Oakmoss, coumarin, allspice, and a cup of very hot tea.

THE PIE COLLECTION

APPLE PIE

Scent Notes: Crisp fall apples, flaky crust, and a dusting of cinnamon.

BANANA CREAM PIE

Scent Notes: Creamy banana cream pie in a freshly baked crust.

PECAN PIE

Scent Notes: Crunchy candied pecans, pie crust and cinnamon.

PUMPKIN PIE

Scent Notes: Creamy pumpkin, fresh pie crust, nutmeg dusting.

THE OFFICE COLLECTION

IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

Scent Notes: A super rich German chocolate cake.

BEARS, BEETS, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

Scent Notes: the musk of a real black bear that you fought with your own bare hands; fresh peach blossom (which is not as great as an Awesome Blossom, but does smell much better); honeycomb stolen straight from the mouths of the bumblebees (your apiarist owed you a favor); bubbles on a fresh glass of sparkling water, which ping about the glass like the laser guns wielded on the Battlestar Galactica. Glorious.

DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SL**

Scent Notes: A glass of homemade lemonade on a hot afternoon (because your parents gave you money to start a stand, and now, surplus!); peppermint (straight out of the best ice cream flavor); a freshly picked yuzu (it’s a Japanese fruit, did you know that?); pomegranate (who discovered this fruit, right? What is the deal with pomegranate?).

NUMBER ONE, HOW DARE YOU?

Scent Notes: A proper English garden full of roses and sweet pea on a warm summer afternoon, because you are a lady; sweet vanilla bean because dessert is the best meal of the day; a secret blend of exotic spices because you’re the spiciest person in the office; supple leather because you wear it as part of your girl group, Subtle Sexuality; a hint of gasoline because everyone knows you’re a little bit crazy and would absolutely go full-on Waiting to Exhale if need be.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 

Scent Notes: A glass of whisky paired with a glass of bay rum aftershave with just a hint of lime squeezed in (because alcohol is an aphrodisiac, and nothing is better than mixing liquor and accidental aftershave to really get the party started); the best Pretzel Day toppings: chocolate chips and toffee nuts. And cocoa absolut.

WHY USE MANY WORD WHEN FEW WORD DO TRICK?

Scent Notes: Cinnamon. Cinnamon doughnuts. Yum. 

THE ALCHEMIST COLLECTION

ALCHEMIST

Scent Notes: Swirls of pipe tobacco around a plate of nutty toffee and caramels. A pile of old books and a touch of nag champa. Candle wax dripping from the sconce by the wingback leather chair, and cheerful labdanum wafting through the open window.

ALEMBIC

Scent Notes: Sweet pumpkin souffle dotted with marshmallows and drizzled with buttery maple syrup. Tuberose wafts through the open front door.

AQUA VITAE

Scent Notes: Fizzing key limes topped with coconut cream, served on a black linen tablecloth.

ARCANEUM

Scent Notes: Oakmoss and labdanum grows on the ancient stone walls of a legendary library. The last peach blossoms blow through the air as autumn sets in, and the last meyer lemon hangs from the tree. Rows and piles of ancient tomes sit, waiting, while students read by the light of carefully protected wax candles.

BEZOAR

Scent Notes: A rich, decadent gourmand of double salted caramel, marzipan, and coumarin, with a dash of old teakwood.

CADUCEUS

Scent Notes: Rich lavender honeycomb is at the heart of this fragrance, with hints of elderberry, oud wood, clove, and patchouli.

CRUCIBLE

Scent Notes: Smoky palo santo, mysterious absinthe with bright drops of bergamot and oranges, Atlas cedar, sweet fennel, bitter accord.

DISTILLATE

Scent Notes: Bright, gleaming metals shine against a familiar background of oranges, cloves, and cinnamon.

LODESTONE

Scent Notes: Chocolate peppermint fudge and a fizz of late autumn figs.

OUROBOROS

Scent Notes: A green, leafy concoction of galbanum, anise, peppermint, white thyme, with a grounding base of tobacco.

PHILOSOPHER'S STONE

Scent Notes: Rain beats on old, weathered cobblestones. A cup of your favorite hot mocha steams next to a bowl of black cherries and black currants. A sprig of wormwood sits, waiting.

QUICKSILVER

Scent Notes: Pumpkin spice incense, bright pink peppercorns, an early dusting of snow.

A VERY BOOZY CHRISTMAS

ABSINTHE

Scent Notes: Absinthe, glowing red musk, bitter accord, myrrh, vetiver.

AMARETTO

Scent Notes: Amaretto, vanilla cream, a sprinkle of nutmeg.

CHOCOLATE STOUT

Scent Notes: Rich chocolatey stout, a comfy flannel shirt, allspice, sandalwood, vanilla bean.

EGGNOG

Scent Notes: Eggnog sprinkled with allspice, ginger, cardamom, and nutmeg.

FRANGELICO

Scent Notes: Frangelico, butterscotch candies, black oud, amber.

HOT BUTTERED RUM

Scent Notes: Hot buttered rum, bright oranges, spices.

HOT COCOA

Scent Notes: Rich hot cocoa with mountains of fluffy marshmallows and a touch of coconut cream pie, tempered with a touch of patchouli and incense.

HOT TODDY

Scent Notes: Strong black tea, lemon, honey, and a touch of cinnamon.

IRISH CREAM

Scent Notes: Irish cream, salted caramel, espresso.

MULLED WINE

Scent Notes: Red wine mulled with cinammon, oranges, brown sugar and pepper, grapefruit and cardamom, and a hint of bitter accord.

FALLPOCALYPSE COLLECTION

PUMPKIN SPICE PANDEMIC

Scent Notes: Pumpkin spice is the star of this sexy scent, in combination with some spicy chai tea. Burnt sugar, like marshmallows roasted on a campfire, and a bit of that campfire’s smoke, to boot. Because it’s the apocalypse and the world is burning, there’s a quick hit of tar when it’s first applied; but that fades into the delicately sexy, sweet, and spicy blend of pumpkin, chai, smoke, and burnt sugar. Everyone’s gonna want a bite out of you.

SPIKED CIDER

Scent Notes: Hot apple cider with a generous splash of Kentucky Bourbon, honeyed cloves, dalmation sage, and a touch of cinnamon 

SMOKE & DECAY

Scent Notes: warm snickerdoodle cookies dipped in buttercream frosting, campfire wood smoke, crisp red apple, Indian sandalwood, a freshly poured oatmeal stout, orange spiced chai tea.

BLOOD ORANGE

Scent Notes: Blood oranges soaked in rich spices with a tinge of metallic blood

SUNSET BONFIRE

Scent Notes: A pile of burning maple leaves in a sun warmed meadow at dusk

BLACK FLAME COLLECTION

BLACK FLAME

Scent Notes: Absinthe and whiskey, pistachio green tea, oakwood and Egyptian musk.

COME LITTLE CHILDREN

Scent Notes: A basket of kittens, candy corn, butterscotch to lure the children. Animalic and black musks hint at something sinister underneath...

DEAD MAN'S TOE

Scent Notes: White chocolate, animalic musk, camphor.

HOCUS POCUS

Scent Notes: Wormwood, bitter almond, figs, violets, nicotina, sparkling aldehyde.

I PUT A SPELL ON YOU

Scent Notes: Red musk and elderberry, cloves, myrrh, and clary sage, gunpowder soaked in honey.

SWEET SHOPPE COLLECTION

CRYSTAL MINT

Scent Notes: Clouds of fluffy peppermint goodness.

LEMON FIZZ

Scent Notes: Hard lemon candy that fizzes a little. A subtle creamy undertone.

RAINBOW SHERBET

Scent Notes: A giant scoop of lime, orange, raspberry rainbow sherbet.

ROOTBEER PASTILLE

Scent Notes: Old fashioned rootbeer hard candies with an herbal sassafras finish.

SPARKLING CHERRY

Scent Notes: Fizzing bright cherry candies.

WINTERGREEN FREEZE

Scent Notes: Tiny pastilles that melt in your mouth. A refreshing treat for a very hot day.

DR. FANTASTIC'S

ALL-NATURAL MAGICAL HEALTH RESTORATIVE

Scent Notes: White musk, rosemary, fresh-picked lavender, pine needles, cedarwood, bay laurel.

DR. FANTASTIC'S PERFECT SOLUTION

Scent Notes: A bottle of delicious merlot, freshly squeezed lime, a clover field, copper, stormy ocean water.

MAJESTIC MIRACLE TONIC

Scent Notes: Three types of sage: blackberry, dalmatian, and juniper, cactus flower, gasoline, musty white musk.

Scent Notes: Fresh bamboo, sweet yuzu, an old, dusty library, exotic spices, smoky nag champa, ylang ylang.

SUMMER LIMITED EDITION

AMAZONIA

Scent Notes: pear, fig, blueberry, ylang ylang.

CABANA

Scent Notes: Fresh, tart pineapple and red mandarin, tonka bean, and a touch of whipped cream.

THE HUNTRESS

Scent Notes: grass, tangerine, neroli, jasmine, honeysuckle.

SIREN SONG

Scent Notes: the spray of the ocean on your face on a cool summer morning, a ripe kumquat plucked straight off the tree, crisp cotton sheets drying on a line in a field full of daisies.

SUN GODDESS

Scent Notes: Creamy coconutty suntan lotion, rich vanillas, and salty sea air.

TEMPEST

Scent Notes: spring meadow, rain, summer storms.

SUMMER FRUIT TREES

ACAI TREE

Scent Notes: Juicy acai berries covered in rich, dark chocolate. Fresh, cold rice milk and crisp white musk.

APRICOT TREE

Scent Notes: Fresh, tangy apricots, fizzing bubbles, a dash of herbal sage.

COCONUT PALM

Scent Notes: Creamy coconut, swirls of black musk and vanilla, fresh green petitgrain, island beach grasses, and a hint of ocean breeze.

FIG TREE

Scent Notes: Warm late summer figs offered on a platter with warm honeycomb, almonds, coumarin, and sips of red wine. Healthy. This is healthy.

LIME TREE

Scent Notes: Fizzing fresh green limes, wild labadanum and tonka with champagne bubbles.

MANGO TREE

Scent Notes: Mangoes with fresh green galbanum and bright pink peppercorns. A whisper of cardamom and sea salt, served under black linen canopies. 

NECTARINE TREE

Scent Notes: Nectarines in a cool, still pool of water, crisp rice milk.

PASSIONFRUIT VINE

Scent Notes: Passionfruit, bright green tomato leaf, frangipani blooms and a pinch of heliotrope flower.

PEACH TREE

Scent Notes: Sun-warmed summer peaches, a hint of summer rainstorms and the smell of lush, green, growing things. Ice cold fizzy drinks and tonka bean.

PEAR TREE

Scent Notes: Hot, crisp pear tart drizzled with caramel. Drowned in heavy cream spiced with cardamom, cinnamon, and a touch of vanilla. 

POMEGRANATE TREE

Scent Notes: Ruby red pomegranate seeds over vanilla ice cream.

SUMMER GLAZE SCENTS

CUCUMBER MELON BITCH

Scent Notes: A grown up version of the high school classic. Mellow musk melons and crisp cucumbers.

LEMON VERBENA

Scent Notes: That perfect 70's memory of herbalicious lemon verbena.

PEAR DREAM

Scent Notes: Sweet malted pears.

SUMMER PLUM

Scent Notes: A lush blend of juicy, ripe plums and plum blossom.

THE MANLY MEN COLLECTION

DAD BOD

Scent Notes: A swirl of spices (wormwood, ginger, and aniseed) play with a bright top note of red mandarin. Resins and a touch of animalic musk create a lingering base note.

FIST BUMP

Scent Notes: Vanilla bourbon, oudh wood, sandalwood.

MAN GRUNT

Scent Notes: Golden amber, black patchouli, citrus, warm woods.

RAPTOR CLAW

Scent Notes: a smoky cedar fire, cactus flower, black currant, tobacco.

SHARK PUNCH

Scent Notes: Driftwood, sea spray, beach grass, vetiver, lemongrass, clary sage.

SOCKS AND CROCS

Scent Notes: A juicy blend of figs and blackcurrants, grounded in cedarwood and bergamot, with a sparkling dash of pink peppercorn.

T-REX ARMS

Scent Notes: A masculine leaning fragrance of rich oudh wood, laubdanum, violets, and a touch of coriander, all in a heady African musk base. 

THE SUMMER BERRIES COLLECTION

BLACKCURRANT

Scent Notes: Blackcurrant jam with undertones of black tea and rosewood.

BLUEBERRY

Scent Notes: Blueberry spice cake made with cardamom and a touch of coumarin, drizzled with brown sugar glaze.

ELDERBERRY

Scent Notes: A bottle of old honeyed elderberry wine found in the cool corner of the cellar, with a whisper of the powdery soil from the earthen walls.

GOOSEBERRY

Scent Notes: Gooseberry and lilacs, and a touch of honey.

HUCKLEBERRY

Scent Notes: Wild huckleberries picked from a cedar forest in a misty, wet morning. Oakmoss, rain and cloudy skies

JUNIPER BERRY

Scent Notes: Fizzy gin cocktail with ginger ale, tonka, and tobacco flower.

RASPBERRY

Scent Notes: Raspberries in heavy cream with a dash of vanilla, cinnamon and cardamom.

STRAWBERRY

Scent Notes: A dozen freshly-dipped dark chocolate coated strawberries on a golden platter, a crystal champagne flute filled with Dom Perignon resting beside them.

THE VILLAINESS COLLECTION (or: The bumbling adventures of Captain Mansplain)

YOU CAUGHT ME MONOLOGING 

“It’s really quite simple,” Captain Mansplain said. “I found your secret lair in the easiest way: you sent me a note to come here to, I believe you said, ‘Meet my doom.’” He made exaggerated air quotes as he said it, because of course he did. “Although I don’t believe you really meant that, and let me explain why.” 

“No, that’s exactly what I--” Feminista started to say. 

Continue reading here 

Scent Notes: A cauldron full of a dark, bubbling, poisonous liquid with a distinct animal musk note wafting from the fumes and simmering bubbles, oudh wood, spicy dragon’s blood. 

IT'S A TRAP! 

Captain Mansplain awoke in a dungeon he didn’t recognize, with a splitting headache. “This is definitely not my own personal dungeon, where I have absolutely never awoken after a rowdy night with a woman I most sincerely did not pay for who robbed me and locked me in my own dungeon. I’d recognize that place. This dungeon is most sincerely a foreign dungeon. Probably that rotten Feminista’s place. Ugh.” 

Continue reading here

Scent Notes: A freshly baked vanilla cupcake topped with buttercream, and marzipan, sprinkled with burnt sugar and a small drizzle of honey, left on the countertop with a lovely note telling you to eat it, and you have no reason at all to suspect that it’s poisoned except for that slightly faint hint of wormwood coming through the sweetness but hey, someone needs to eat this delicious cupcake right? There’s no way this could end poorly.  

NO CAPES 

Captain Mansplain found himself, once again, in a large room in Feminista’s evil hideout. The room was empty except for a large compressed air pipe about midway up the wall behind him. He suspected cameras must be mounted somewhere in the ceiling, although he didn’t see any.

Continue reading here

Scent Notes: Cedar logs burning in the great outdoors, smoky patchouli, Balsam of Peru (fancy, we know), a lavender grove on a perfect spring day, a sprinkle of anise. 

WE'RE REALLY NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I

Captain Mansplain laid on his back on the floor of the empty room, trapped in Feminista’s evil hideout. Oh, the humanity. Maybe he really had come to this terrible place to die. Maybe this is what happens when you make yourself a superhero. Perhaps the world doesn’t *need* a Captain Mansplain. Maybe he really is a bad superhero. 

Continue reading here

Scent Notes: A bottle of expensive Merlot, crisp Anjou pear, a ripe Valencia orange, tart lemon, juicy kumquat. Basically, really delicious sangria.  

FINAL BOSS 

Captain Mansplain awoke, not for the first time, in Feminista’s secret island lair. Only this time, he was tied to a post that was hanging from the ceiling in a large room, completely unable to move. His mouth was shut with duct tape, and he could tell that the side of his face was bruised and aching. The metal floor felt hot beneath his feet, and it appeared that the floor could slide apart, like so many evil villain’s lair floors are wont to do. (Who makes slidable floors? He wondered to himself. Is that a good business to get into? Maybe I should try that. I wonder if I could wear a cape on the job?) He would have expressed his thoughts aloud, and indeed he was trying to, but the duct tape made it impossible to talk, so he was mostly chewing on it. 

Continue reading here

Scent Notes: Intense ambergris, freshly ground cardamom pods, molten honey, cocoa absolute, benzoin tree resin. (Note: if you get this scent as a perfume oil, some separation may occur; that’s perfectly natural!)  

MISC. HOUSE SCENTS

THEOREM 13 (Available Friday the 13th ONLY)

Scent Notes: Vanilla absolute, lavender, red musk, spices.

DREAMCRUSHER

Scent Notes: Sweet peach tea that's been left to steep a little too long with that edge of bitterness, like crushed dreams.

GLAM REAPER

Scent Notes: An array of expensive, luscious lipsticks lazing on a mirrored vanity amongst jars of expensive cold cream. This smells like 1940s glamorous movie starlets getting ready for their close up!

HARBINGER

Scent Notes: A classic Victorian manse set ablaze, filling the air with burning books and cherry furniture, exotic spices and incense, red and black musks, and violets.

GLOW UP

Scent Notes: Sparkling candied citrus peel, vanilla from the expensive hippie shop, Egyptian musk, cuticle cream.

I DIDN'T MEAN DUCKING

Scent Notes: Black tea with a generous tot of whiskey. Grapefruit for a touch of bitter and a drop of vetiver. Nag champa and rosewood make a rich base.

I SAID WHAT I SAID

Scent Notes: A strong, unrepentant blend of blood orange and black currant. Red musk, elemi, and black oud shimmer on a background of Egyptian musk and dragon's blood.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Scent Notes: She sits at the bar, drinking something that could be bourbon, or perhaps it's scotch. Both? The bar smells of fresh tobacco and aged vanilla. You need a pick me up, so you're drinking a cafe mocha spiked with rum. She turns and smiles at you, her eyes amber dark. She beckons you over, and as you walk, unable to stop yourself, the air turns earthy, a blend of patchouli and leather, the scents wafting off of her. These new notes mix with the coffee in your hand and the smell of the bar and intoxicate you more than your drink has. Uh-oh. 

DEAD RINGER

Scent Notes: Powdery violets, myrrh smoke drifting through a crumbling cathedral, red musk, candle wax, black roses.

MORTSAFE

Scent Notes: Sun-ripened guava juice in an ancient tomb, covered in salty caramel.

RICTUS

Scent Notes: A funereal wreath of white lilies and black orchids sprinkled with a dusting of graveyard dirt. A somber wake feast of dark chocolate drenched raspberries and a shot of dark rum.

TRIFLERS NEED NOT APPLY

Scent Notes: Creamy, buttery strawberry trifle with fresh shortcake. Resinous dragon's blood, red musk, graveyard dirt, and a drop of blood.

WE ARE STARDUST

Scent Notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli.

PI

Scent Notes: Freshly picked apples from one of those hipster apple orchards where everyone goes to wear flannel, beanies, and pick gigantic bushels of apples and take a ton of pictures for Instagram, except the apples are actually delicious and worth it, And those apples are in a pie. A delicious, warm pie. With melty vanilla ice cream and spices. Damn, math is awesome.  

GALENTINE'S DAY (AVAILABLE ONLY VALENTINE'S DAY WEEKEND)

Scent Notes: Your best friend just showed up at your door with a gorgeous bouquet of peach blossoms, lavender, gardenia, and sweet peas, along with a jar of your favorite, outrageously expensive beauty cream, and a freshly baked vanilla cupcake covered in vanilla frosting from the French bakery down the street.

#HEYCONFESSORS

Scent Notes: Fluffy pillows of marshmallows billow on a dish of salted caramels dusted with nutmeg and toasted sugar drizzles.

IMPENDING DOOM

Scent Notes: Red Mandarin and rich honey create a sweet first impression, luring you into smoke, patchouli, gunpowder and... Is that gasoline? Clearly, an evil plan is afoot!

MISFIT

Scent Notes: Vanilla, Leather, Whiskey, Amber, Frankincense, Cypress, Oud and Musk.

TROLL FOOD

Scent Notes: Melted chocolate, toasted marshmallow, sweet honey graham cracker.

POTION

Scent Notes: Tahitian vanilla, cedarwood, old books, lemon balm, juicy juniper berry, fresh rosemary, sweet basil, balsam peru, bergamot.

ELIXIR

Scent Notes: juicy orange blossom, white musk, sugary marshmallow, freshly-picked kumquat, a field of lavender, and a dash of bubbly, sweet champagne.

NOSTRUM

Scent Notes: guiac and rosewoods, benzoin and laubdamum resins, allspice, coriander, fennel and a whisper of camphor.

CAULDRON

Scent Notes: A smudge of sage; some freshly picked apples; exotic spices; juicy figs; smoky pipe tobacco; wax from the eternal candle; a smattering of other Fall delights. This is a perfect fall day full of crisp leaves.

GO BIG OR GO HOME

Scent Notes: A job site full of hot metal, leather tool belts, diesel smoke, and tar barrels melting in the sun.

YOUR MOM

Scent Notes: White leather purse with fringe, Big Red chewing gum, a touch of cherry tobacco and lifesavers, and old pennies.

THE AUDACITY

Scent Notes: you know when people describe a perfume as smelling like "an old lady"? This is that scent, on purpose. Dusty, powdery rose, peony, and oud wood. We like to think of it as "classic."

CAFFEINE POISONING

Scent Notes: Two black teas, a shot of espresso, a dash of sweet mocha and coffee absolute make for a caffeinated take off. Cassia and black oud come out to play on the drydown.

 

FREE CANDY

Scent Notes: A pillowcase full of candy from the rich neighborhood in town (you know the one, hands out full-size and king-size candy bars like they’re Jay-Z and money ain’t a thing) clutched in the happy fists of laughing children dressed as ghosts and vampires.

 

GUY LOVE

Scent Notes: Pears, cucumber, hay accord, ginger lily, cardamom, suede.

LAWLESS & BRALESS

Scent Notes: Hot metal, gasoline and smoke blend with an unapologetic feminine bouquet of pink peonies, gardenias, and sweet Meyer lemons.

PEACH CREAM

Scent Notes: Fresh peaches, cream, and a light cloud of magic.

SHENNANIGATOR

Scent Notes: Opens with the rich, warm aroma of buttered popcorn. Next comes raspberries, lemons, and green figs. Sweet oud lingers as a heart note. 

SEEMS LEGIT

Scent Notes: Rotten river mud, a few drops of blood, a swirl of tobacco smoke, sweet pumpkin pie, candy corn, tears.

TRICK

Scent Notes: Animalic musk and rot, camphor, hot tar and salty tears. And Pumpkin Spice.

T-MINUS COFFEE

Scent Notes: freshly ground coffee (obviously), spicy black pepper, nutmeg, high octane fuel, vanilla bean, bacon sizzling on the stovetop.

THE BEACH IS GONNA GET WHATEVER BODY I GIVE IT

Scent Notes: An unapologetically feminine tropical floral. Monoi tiare, pikake, frangipani, juicy lychees, and dune grass against a welcoming, salty ocean shore.

DAYS OUT OF TIME

Scent Notes: Immortale absolute, chamomile, cassia and copal resin, floral aldehyde, and iso-e.

PRIDE

Scent Notes: Honeycomb, Indian sandalwood, Egyptian musk, coumarin, champagne bubbles.

WORRYINGLY ARBITRARY

Scent Notes: Sugared tuberose, suede and lemongrass, orris and sandalwood.

SHUT UP AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY

Scent Notes: A fist full of cash, the last glass of champagne, green tea, peppermint (like a mint? Get it?), coumarin and sassafras.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Scent Notes: your mother’s expensive cold cream that she dutifully applied every night and now you do, too, mixed with fragrant, sumptuous black cherries.

LIZZY'S FINE DARK EYES

Scent Notes: Orchids and chamomile blend with lavender, ylang ylang and hyssop. Peach blossom, sandalwood, and sparkling aldehyde bring lift and depth.