What Fresh Hell is This?

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Ugh. This day. This day could not make Mallory roll her eyes harder if it tried, and at this point, she’s pretty certain it’s trying. She makes herself her second (maybe fifth, actually, but who’s really counting?) strong martini and collapses back onto her favorite overstuffed armchair, sloshing a bit onto the floor. It’s fine; one of the maids will be along at some point to clean it up. But before she can, Mallory’s assistant, Stacy, walks into the room. 

“Uh, so did I hear correctly that our company is now going to be boycotted in Europe because you pissed off the French ambassador at lunch today?” Mallory rolls her eyes for the 100th time today. “Yes, you did hear that correctly. Francois wore the stupidest hat I’ve ever seen and didn’t take it off during the meal. So I told him he was a fussy snail with more money than style and now he’s mad at me. Yes, he’s probably going to boycott the company, but it won’t be for long.” 

“But he’s your ex-husband. And he co-founded the company with you. Why would you say that?” Stacy asked, clearly not getting the point.

“Well then he should know better than to wear a stupid hat to a business lunch with me, shouldn’t he? This is entirely his fault. Although it does mean we’ll have to reframe our European business for a while. He has a loud, angry mouth that matches his taste in accessories. It takes a lot of money to look that cheap, too, and I don’t feel bad for being honest with him. Someone needed to tell him the truth,” Mallory said, sloshing back the rest of the martini. 

“Ah, so that must be martini… five, is my guess?” says Stacy, snatching the glass from Mallory’s hand. “What else happened today?”

Mallory gave her best dramatic sigh. “Oh yes. It was just the most obnoxious day.”

Stacy half-smiled. “You said the same thing yesterday.”

Mallory scoffed. “I meant it then, and I mean it now! The heel broke off of my favorite pair of Louboutins this morning on my way to my breakfast meeting; I hobbled into the restaurant and looked like a bum in front of the whole place AND our potential new client, whom I haven’t heard from since, by the way. George, my driver, abandoned me at the restaurant because his wife was in labor, or some other excuse. She’s been pregnant for, like, nine months, which seems excessive. Then I had to get a cab back here, like a commoner, and I was nearly run over by some asshole in a Nissan while I tried to hail a cab. A Nissan! And I had to change my shoes and my whole outfit, obviously. I had to take another cab to meet Francois for lunch, and this one smelled like a dog threw up in it, then ate that throw up, then expelled it again in the backseat. Then that stupid hat showed up, along with the rest of my ex-husband. I’m telling you, I could barely eat at the sight of both of them; I had to keep the food down, so, whoops, my words came out. Plus, somehow, the wrong contract documents were in my briefcase. Thankfully we didn’t even get that far because he stormed out and threatened ruin for the business, but I’m not concerned. If he boycotted me for every time we had a disagreement, we would have lost the firm before it started.”

Mallory stopped to sigh and attempt a swig before remembering her martini was gone.

“Don’t worry, Stacy, we already have most of his money, between the business and the alimony; you’re not out of a job now.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Stacy said sarcastically.

“Unless you’d rather not have gainful employment and health insurance, in which case, I know a lovely dumpster just outside you can move into!” Mallory said, standing up on wobbly, drunken legs, and pulling out a flask from… no. No way. Mallory winked at her and took a swig. “Nature’s pocket can hold so many things,” she said. 

Stacy gagged. Thankfully, she was spared from answering by the doorbell ringing. “What fresh hell is this?” Mallory asked. “Stacy, get the door. And then I want you to send out some media briefs stating that we are boycotting the stuck-up French and not the other way around. People will stand behind us; they all hate the French anyway. As well they should.” Stacy was already halfway to the door by the time Mallory said the word “people,” but it didn’t matter. Mallory took another swig and sat down at her computer. It didn’t matter to her who was at the door or if the French would hate her forever. She had new shoes to buy.

Scent Notes: A white floral of jasmine, magnolia, and frangipani with bright undercurrents of birch, fennel, and hyssop. Ylang ylang and white tea create a nuanced experienced, and a drop of indole adds sophistication.

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Sucreabeille is a vegan, cruelty free brand. We do our very best to keep updated with our suppliers to keep our commitment to just generally being ethical people, but if you ever see something that needs addressing, we'd love to hear from you!

Andrea Fender, Queen Bee


Andrea started making lotions and potions in 2014, and is committed to high-quality products that are handmade. After running her own shop, she happily took over Sucreabeille in April of 2018 and absolutely loves it. Follow her on IG @shopsucreabeille, and join our community on Facebook at




Nicole Antoinette Moore, Scribe Bee



Nicole lives in Colorado and works during the day at a small publishing house. She's our social beedia expert, and she loves books, coffee, sushi, and her cat, Gomez. Feel free to follow her on IG at @atorsoboat



Amy Marie, Bee-Casso

Amy owns Journey West Design, and is responsible for all of the great art on the site. She designed Sucreabeille’s logo and labels, and continues to be an amazing support every day! You can find her at

Didn’t love a scent? Not a fan of that body product? Not a problem, as we here at Sucreabeille have an Extremely Generous Return Policy!

We’re committed to making the returns process simple and easy for you.

But first, a few things to note:

We really encourage you to wait to make a return until at least two weeks after the receipt of your order. Why? As indie perfume makers, we don’t use stabilizers in our blends like mass perfume manufacturers. That means that your scents might undergo the perfume equivalent of bottle shock in transportation, due to extreme fluctuations in temperature, aggressive package handling (tee hee), etc.

You can absolutely sniff your scents when they first arrive, but note that a resting period of at least a few days can make a world of difference in how a scent smells.

Store them in a cool, dry place for a little while and see how they can change. But, if you don't want to wait that long, we understand!

Returns must be initiated within 60 days of purchase.

There must be at least 75% of the product left in the container for us to accept the return.

If you don’t love a scent but would rather rehome it than return it, or swap it for something you know you love, we have an awesome swap/sell thread on our Facebook group (and it’s for all indie perfume companies, not just Suc). You can join our group here ( and then search for “swap/sell” within the group. We post a new swap thread each month, sometimes two!

Sucreabeille reserves the right to limit returns if we have reason to suspect misuse of our Extremely Generous Return Policy (such as, but not limited to, excessive returns, reseller activity, or fraud).Items from the Indie Marketplace are eligible for return.

Items purchased from other retailers, dealers, or resellers and not directly from Sucreabeille are not eligible for return, refund, or exchange.

If you used Sugar Points on your original purchase, we will not be able to refund those to your account. Instead, we will give you a shop credit. (It's basically the same thing, it just won't be found under your Sugar Points.).Here's how it works: Send us an email with a note about what you’d like to return, and we’ll send you a shipping label. Send back the product according to the terms above. Once we receive it and make sure it’s eligible, we’ll issue you a shop credit or a refund to your original form of payment in the amount of the product plus your original shipping charge. We must receive the product before we can issue your credit or refund.

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