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“I can’t believe we’re having a party!” Claudius squealed. “I feel like we haven’t seen any other vampires for ages!”
Louisa put down her book. “That’s because nobody likes you. We’ve all seen plenty of other vampires.” Giorgio and Sylvia nodded in agreement.
“That’s ridiculous! People love me, especially at parties. You know I’m always the jockey of the compact discs and the spinner of the vinyl discs!” Claudius said incredulously.
“Okay, first of all, again, you are the youngest person here, by hundreds of years,” Sylvia said. “Second, you are not allowed anywhere near the music at this party, because you play the same crappy techno songs on repeat that you’ve had on repeat for the past thirty years.”
“Those songs are CLASSICS! They were played at every vampire rave I attended in the ‘80s and ‘90s, back when I didn’t have to dress in stupid human clothes and people thought being a vampire was sexy and cool, not something to be afraid of!” Claudius said.
“Yeah, not afraid until you tried to sink your teeth into their necks and they ran away screaming and we had to flee from the cops, you dumbass,” Louisa mumbled.
“Whatever, my music doesn’t suck, you all suck!” Claudius yelled, storming out of the dying room.
“Of course we suck, we’re vampires!” Giorgio yelled after him.
Claudius slammed his door, and immediately, the familiar uhn-tiss uhn-tiss uhn-tiss beats came radiating from his bedroom. The others groaned collectively. “Turn that shit off!” Sylvia yelled. “We’ve been hearing it for decades and we’re sick of it!”
The music got louder.
Louisa got up, walked to Claudius’s bedroom, and knocked on the door. “Hey!” she yelled. “If you turn that shit off right now and promise not to play it at our party, I’ll bring a virgin to the party. Just for you.” The music stopped immediately, and Claudius opened the door. “Seriously? Just for me?!”
“Just for you. You have to promise me, though, that you will never, EVER play that music again. Ever. Party or no party. You’re lucky I haven’t opened your curtains and fried your brains out.”
Claudius thought for a moment. “But it’s my favorite … okay, fine. You have a deal.” They shook hands. “It’s okay, because I’ve just heard of some new music I want to listen to! I must get ready for the party now. I have to look absolutely perfect for my virgin,” he said, going back into his room.
“The party is three weeks away!” Louisa said, as the opening strains of Nickelback floated out into the hallway. Sylvia and Giorgio came running, and the three of them screamed. “Louisa, what have you DONE?” Sylvia yelled over the sound of Claudius “singing” along to “Photograph.” He opened the door again.
“This is my new favorite song! Thank you, Louisa!” He shut the door again. And the other vampires screamed.
Scent Notes: Red lipstick accord, animalistic musk, guiac wood, blood accord