Feral Housewife

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Scent Notes: lemongrass, coriander, and graham crackers from the kitchen. Sawdust from the remodel you're doing, and metal from rebuilding that engine. Hot tar from patching the pothole out front, can't have the kids falling on their bikes! And to finish, guava scented beauty cream.

Some people might say it’s overkill to make homemade graham crackers on a random Wednesday for your kids to have as an after school snack, but who cares what other people think? You haven’t washed or brushed your hair in days; you’re pretty sure the sweatpants you’re wearing haven’t left your thighs for what seems like months; there’s grease on your cheek and sawdust in your hair; but there’s also homemade graham crackers cooling on the windowsill like a damn 1950s TV show. Now that the oven is off, you can go finish building the raised garden beds for your expanding herb and vegetable garden. You might even have some time to get back in the garage to keep working on the engine in your 1976 candy apple red Mustang before it’s time to turn on the grill for dinner before you run to your mixed martial arts class. No, wait, that’s tomorrow; tonight is your knitting club (aka Stitch and Bitch). The house is messy, but you can just make the kids do the dishes and vacuum; that’s the point of kids, right? Okay not the WHOLE point, but they’re old enough to clean up now. Your house has never been, and will never be, pristine, and you’re more than fine with that. Your knitting club doesn’t care what the house looks like, especially when you’re providing wine and snacks. (You already made the cheeseboard and put it in the fridge; you’ll add graham crackers to it when you take it out.) The bag of costumes for the school musical is by the front door for your daughter to take to rehearsal with her later, since you finished sewing them all this morning. There’s an actual mountain of dirty clothes on top of the washer, and you should probably wash your face at some point, but who cares? You’re not a domestic housewife; you’re a Feral Housewife.

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