Number One: How Dare You

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You have a lot of questions, but this one is the most important. Aren’t exes just the absolute worst? Like, look at their stupid face. Their stupid, handsome face. It’s just infuriating, you know? Especially when your resolution for this year was to get more attention, and you have a plan to wear your hottest track suit to visit him in prison and he’s gonna regret ever treating you so badly. Because you are the Business Bitch, and you have no weaknesses. Except maybe ice cream. And girl groups. And stupid Ryan’s stupid face.

Scent notes: a proper English garden full of roses and sweet pea on a warm summer afternoon, because you are a lady; sweet vanilla bean because dessert is the best meal of the day; a secret blend of exotic spices because you’re the spiciest person in the office; supple leather because you wear it as part of your girl group, Subtle Sexuality; a hint of gasoline because everyone knows you’re a little bit crazy and would absolutely go full-on Waiting to Exhale if need be.

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