I'm Too Old For This Shit

Scent Notes: Intense, rich vanillas infused with honeycomb. Nicotina flower, leather, and a hint of bitterness.

Your alarm didn’t go off, again. Or maybe you slept through it. The point is, you’re now thirty minutes behind schedule, and your boss is going to pitch a fit if you’re late. You spring out of bed, feeling every muscle scream at the sudden motion. You stumble over yesterday’s clothes and throw something resembling an outfit onto your body. Dammit, you are getting too old for this. You get to the kitchen, and discover the coffee maker was unplugged so your programmed cup for the day didn’t brew. No time to make one now! You go to the bathroom, quickly brush your teeth, find some shoes, and run out the door. (You’ll notice later that your shoes, while similar in color, are not a matching set.)

Of course, traffic is awful. There’s been some kind of accident on top of the construction they’ve been doing for what seems like years now. You finally make it to work, late, uncaffeinated, and aggravated. You manage to have a relatively quiet morning, until everything falls apart. Two of your coworkers quit unexpectedly, leaving you completely short staffed for the afternoon. You get about ten minutes to eat a microwaved burrito before getting back to work, which flies by in a flurry of unnecessary meetings, annoyed customers, and a general feeling of “too old for this shit” floating in the air. What’s with today, today? Your feet and knees are aching; your back is killing you; all you want to do is go home.

As you’re getting ready to leave, your boss asks you to stay late tonight and work extra hours the rest of the week to make up for your coworkers sudden departures. You ask him if he asked any of your male colleagues to work extra, and he scoffs and tells you they’re already working at max capacity, even though you know they work less hard, and for more money, than you do. You politely tell him you’re too old for this shit, and now he has three job positions to fill.

Your drive home is relaxed, even though the roads should be in solid gridlock. You walk in the door and it’s silent. You kick off your mismatched shoes, take a pint of ice cream out of the freezer, and head to your room to eat it in bed, naked, while you watch your favorite movie. You’re definitely not too old for this shit.

Scent Notes: Intense, rich vanillas infused with honeycomb. Nicotina flower, leather, and a hint of bitterness.