Wanted
Wanted

Wanted

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$30.00
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Be on the lookout for Stand-Around-Pam, member of the notoriously incompetent Suc Gang. She’s wanted for loitering, but not just any loitering: increasingly aggressive, obnoxious loitering, mostly because she doesn’t know what loitering is, even after we’ve explained it to her several times. So now she goes to businesses who specifically post “No Loitering” signs, stands in front of them, and proudly and loudly proclaims, “Hey, I’m loitering here!” before standing up, looking at the sky, and shaking her fist to scream, “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!”

When that doesn’t work (signs can’t emote, you know), she enlists the rest of the Suc Gang to come stand with her. She yells to every customer who walks in and out of the store, “Hey! I’m loitering! I don’t know what it is, but I’m DOING IT!” as her gang members cheer her on and film her doing nothing but standing. Customers start to join in, leading to giant mobs of people standing around and doing nothing in front of stores, and putting their exploits of nothing online. It’s a crime about nothing. Don’t encourage her.

 

Scent notes: a spiky, juicy pineapple, a sprig of cilantro, freshly squeezed lime juice, passionfruit, mango. Think of the fanciest frozen daiquiri at your local hipster bar; that’s exactly what this blend smells like.