Sucreabeille

Shark Punch

$45
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What an absolutely righteous day it is outside: the sky is crazy blue, the waves are high, the sun is smokin’ hot like all the babes in bikinis on the beach, and you’re heading out to catch the surf, brah. Stoked. You run out into the water and paddle out to wait for the next round of waves to crest. The air smells crisp and salty, and the water is so clear it doesn’t even look real. The waves have stilled; the ocean’s like a mirror, and you check out your reflection to make sure your side-bangs are hanging correctly around your face, and that’s when you see the big, dark mass swimming towards your legs. There’s no time to call for help, no time to swim away; this bad boy is almost at your feet. Without even thinking, you kick your legs up out of the water just in time for the shark to come up and take a bite out of the front of your board, so what do you do? You punch that asshole square in the nose, like they told you to do on one of those shows that airs on repeat during Shark Week. Then you punch him again for good measure; you’re gonna beat the shit out of this shark, son; how dare he disrespect your sweet board that way. But it seems to have worked, and the shark swims off before you can properly rip him apart (which you totally would have, you could take a shark, no problem).

You hear a distant ringing in the distance and look around, confused. You open your eyes; your alarm just went off and you woke up from the most vivid dream you’ve ever had, where you got to punch a shark. Twice! Hell yeah. Even though you’ve never surfed, you know you could, and you could totally beat up a shark. In fact, from now on, you’re gonna tell that story like it actually happened to you. Who’s gonna know the difference? Nobody’s gonna question the guy who punched a shark, and if they do, then you’ll just pretend they’re a shark and punch them square in the nose, too. Easy. Like that old saying: simple as punching fish in a bowl, or whatever. Cool.

Scent notes: Driftwood, sea spray, beach grass, vetiver, lemongrass, clary sage

And a note about sharks: When we wrote this story, we were probably giggling, 'cause we generally are. We didn't think much of it, but a wonderful person brought up how important sharks are to our oceans, and we were like, 'Hey! Yes!' So please enjoy our writing, but do remember: Sharks aren't Evil Sea Villians, but rather an important piece of a delicate ecosystem. Want to learn more? Want to donate to a cool organization? Please check out the below organizations and the hard work they're doing!


Shark Stewards! They have everything from adopt a shark to encouraging people to start their own local chapters and fundraise to do things like stand up to government about plastic pollution, as well as documenting at a grassroots level any shark abuse that people see in the wild. They're a very active, community oriented group! They're amazing, they even do things like "send a shark a valentine".

Shark Angels is a community of primarily female activists who do everything from travel to other countries to educate fishermen about alternatives to joining the shark fin trade to encouraging positive media about sharks. They take people on educational scuba diving adventures with sharks and rays and even skype into classrooms to give kids a positive foundation to see sharks from, instead of the usual tired narrative that sharks are bad. You can even become a volunteer and do things like gather petition signatures and fundraise for them!

 

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