You Caught Me Monologuing

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Scent Notes: A cauldron full of a dark, bubbling, poisonous liquid with a distinct animal musk note wafting from the fumes and simmering bubbles, oud wood, spicy dragonsblood.

“It’s really quite simple,” Captain Mansplain said. “I found your secret lair in the easiest way: you sent me a note to come here to, I believe you said, ‘Meet my doom.’” He made exaggerated air quotes as he said it, because of course he did. “Although I don’t believe you really meant that, and let me explain why.”

“No, that’s exactly what I--” Feminista started to say.

“You meant that you would try to kill me, but fail spectacularly, because many people have tried to kill me over the years. As you know, I have invincibility; nothing stops Captain Mansplain! At least, no woman stops me; I will absolutely listen to my fellow male superheroes when they speak, and I don’t seem to have any male villains.”

“That’s becau--”

“That’s probably because everybody loves me except you women! Why do you hate me? This is obviously your own internalized misogyny coming out in the most tremendously spectacular way: pure hatred for me, Captain Mansplain, the smartest man alive. I’m invincible because I have a giant brain, you see. And that manifests in its ability to constantly regenerate my cells as needed.”

“That’s not--” Feminista tried to interject, to remind him that she was the “villain” here, but that was looking less like the case every second. What an incompetent “superhero.”

Captain Mansplain turned his back to Feminista.

“So, listen, just end your little feminist agenda here, and let me be on my way. I only showed up to tell you that you should invest in better stationary; if you’re going to be sending death threats, you could at least splurge on high-quality paper, maybe a new logo. I designed my own logo, you know, it really wasn’t hard. Just used Microsoft Paint and added a flourish to my initials. Of course, you can’t do that, that’s exactly what I did. Don’t copy me because you have no original ideas of your own.”

The whole time Captain Mansplain was monologuing, Feminista stood there rolling her eyes. Given that she was about a foot taller than the Captain, and much more muscular, with a bachelor’s degree in art and a real knack for cooking, she’d had about all she could stand. Plus, she’d spent all morning setting up an elaborate trap involving a large fire pit, throwing stars, and several bad-tempered ferrets.

Since he wasn’t paying attention anyway, she walked out of the room, grabbed a frying pan from the nearby kitchen, and smacked him in the back of the head with it while screaming, “SHUT. UP!”

Captain Mansplain was knocked out cold. “Thank god,” Feminista sighed. “I didn’t think he’d ever stop. Now I can be the one monologuing, you pompous, frittata-brained chode.” She whistled, and several of her assistants came in the room. “Let’s get this guy to the dungeon.”

Scent Notes: A cauldron full of a dark, bubbling, poisonous liquid with a distinct animal musk note wafting from the fumes and simmering bubbles, oud wood, spicy dragonsblood.

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Sucreabeille is a vegan, cruelty free brand. We do our very best to keep updated with our suppliers to keep our commitment to just generally being ethical people, but if you ever see something that needs addressing, we'd love to hear from you!

Andrea Fender, Queen Bee


Andrea started making lotions and potions in 2014, and is committed to high-quality products that are handmade. After running her own shop, she happily took over Sucreabeille in April of 2018 and absolutely loves it. Follow her on IG @shopsucreabeille, and join our community on Facebook at




Nicole Antoinette Moore, Scribe Bee



Nicole lives in Colorado and works during the day at a small publishing house. She's our social beedia expert, and she loves books, coffee, sushi, and her cat, Gomez. Feel free to follow her on IG at @atorsoboat



Amy Marie, Bee-Casso

Amy owns Journey West Design, and is responsible for all of the great art on the site. She designed Sucreabeille’s logo and labels, and continues to be an amazing support every day! You can find her at

Didn’t love a scent? Not a fan of that body product? Not a problem, as we here at Sucreabeille have an Extremely Generous Return Policy!

We’re committed to making the returns process simple and easy for you.

But first, a few things to note:

We really encourage you to wait to make a return until at least two weeks after the receipt of your order. Why? As indie perfume makers, we don’t use stabilizers in our blends like mass perfume manufacturers. That means that your scents might undergo the perfume equivalent of bottle shock in transportation, due to extreme fluctuations in temperature, aggressive package handling (tee hee), etc.

You can absolutely sniff your scents when they first arrive, but note that a resting period of at least a few days can make a world of difference in how a scent smells.

Store them in a cool, dry place for a little while and see how they can change. But, if you don't want to wait that long, we understand!

Returns must be initiated within 60 days of purchase.

There must be at least 75% of the product left in the container for us to accept the return.

If you don’t love a scent but would rather rehome it than return it, or swap it for something you know you love, we have an awesome swap/sell thread on our Facebook group (and it’s for all indie perfume companies, not just Suc). You can join our group here ( and then search for “swap/sell” within the group. We post a new swap thread each month, sometimes two!

Sucreabeille reserves the right to limit returns if we have reason to suspect misuse of our Extremely Generous Return Policy (such as, but not limited to, excessive returns, reseller activity, or fraud).Items from the Indie Marketplace are eligible for return.

Items purchased from other retailers, dealers, or resellers and not directly from Sucreabeille are not eligible for return, refund, or exchange.

If you used Sugar Points on your original purchase, we will not be able to refund those to your account. Instead, we will give you a shop credit. (It's basically the same thing, it just won't be found under your Sugar Points.).Here's how it works: Send us an email with a note about what you’d like to return, and we’ll send you a shipping label. Send back the product according to the terms above. Once we receive it and make sure it’s eligible, we’ll issue you a shop credit or a refund to your original form of payment in the amount of the product plus your original shipping charge. We must receive the product before we can issue your credit or refund.

If you need help, send an email to We’re happy to answer any questions you may have!

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