Sucreabeille

It's a Trap!

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RETIRED: This product has been discontinued.

This product is no longer available, but you can view our fresh house fragrances to find something you'll love.

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Scent notes: a freshly baked marzipan cake topped with buttercream, sprinkled with caramelized sugar and a small drizzle of honey, left on the countertop with a lovely note telling you to eat it, and you have no reason at all to suspect that it’s poisoned except for that slightly faint hint of wormwood coming through the sweetness but hey, someone needs to eat this delicious cupcake right? There’s no way this could end poorly.

Captain Mansplain awoke in a dungeon he didn’t recognize, with a splitting headache. “This is definitely not my own personal dungeon, where I have absolutely never awoken after a rowdy night with a woman I most sincerely did not pay for who robbed me and locked me in my own dungeon. I’d recognize that place. This dungeon is most sincerely a foreign dungeon. Probably that rotten Feminista’s place. Ugh.”

His hands were shackled behind his back, in a most uncomfortable position. In reality, they were just gently behind him, but as an inflexible man in many ways, this simple act was agony. His cape billowed over his arms and was stuck underneath his butt and legs, so when he tried to stand up, he fell.

The woman watching him outside his cell laughed, openly, watching him trip. She had a guttural, intense laugh that reverberated out of his dungeon cell and throughout the whole subterranean level.

Captain Mansplain decided having a female guard was to his advantage, because he really was an idiot. This fact, however, had never deterred him nor stopped him from doing anything in the past. Rather, it propelled him forward into many stupid situations.

Rhonda, the “guard,” was a fledgling villain taking her turn down on dungeon guard duty. She could read minds, and therefore  automatically knew his plans. Her powers didn’t matter in this case, though; it was pretty obvious to just about anyone that he would attempt to hit on her in order to get her keys and free himself from his cell.

“Why, miss, you are far too young and too gorgeous to be here working as a guard for these women! You’re nearly a 7 out of 10; you’d be a solid 7.5 if you lost about 10 pounds and thought about whitening your teeth, you know.”

Rhonda smiled at him, her left eye twitching. Dear god, he really meant that! Her bosses had warned her about the Captain before he had arrived, but nothing could have prepared her for… this guy. How was he a hero, exactly? Oh, right: a white heterosexual guy with an okay body and a huge ego. Right.

She kept smiling. “Why, thanks Captain. Why don’t we get you out of that cell and you can show me your superspeed.”

Captain Mansplain frowned. “I don’t have supe… ooooh. Yeah, okay, I’m into that.”

She let him out of his cell, the same unnerving smile plastered to her face.

Captain Mansplain burst out, exclaiming, “A-ha! I have tricked you, wench! You could never be a 7.5 without serious plastic surgery. And, also, I’m going to escape now.”

He ran down the hall, cape billowing behind him, to the only escape he saw: a door at the end of the hall. There was light spilling out beneath it! He was so close to escaping this wretched hellhole full of *shudder* women. He turned the knob; it was unlocked! Those stupid, stupid…

It was then that he realized that he’d walked straight into Feminista’s dining room, where several villainesses and villainesses-in-training were eating dinner (not sandwiches, he noted to himself).

Rhonda came up behind him and clapped him on the back, getting a big glimpse into that small brain.

“Yeah, you moron; it *was* a trap.”

 

Scent notes: a freshly baked marzipan cake topped with buttercream, sprinkled with caramelized sugar and a small drizzle of honey, left on the countertop with a lovely note telling you to eat it, and you have no reason at all to suspect that it’s poisoned except for that slightly faint hint of wormwood coming through the sweetness but hey, someone needs to eat this delicious cupcake right? There’s no way this could end poorly.

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Sucreabeille is a vegan, cruelty free brand. We do our very best to keep updated with our suppliers to keep our commitment to just generally being ethical people, but if you ever see something that needs addressing, we'd love to hear from you!

Andrea Fender, Queen Bee

 

Andrea started making lotions and potions in 2014, and is committed to high-quality products that are handmade. After running her own shop, she happily took over Sucreabeille in April of 2018 and absolutely loves it. Follow her on IG @shopsucreabeille, and join our community on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/sucreabeille

 

 

 

Nicole Antoinette Moore, Scribe Bee

 


 

Nicole lives in Colorado and works during the day at a small publishing house. She's our social beedia expert, and she loves books, coffee, sushi, and her cat, Gomez. Feel free to follow her on IG at @atorsoboat

 

 

Amy Marie, Bee-Casso

Amy owns Journey West Design, and is responsible for all of the great art on the site. She designed Sucreabeille’s logo and labels, and continues to be an amazing support every day! You can find her at https://www.facebook.com/MMBespokedesign


Didn’t love a scent? Not a fan of that body product? Not a problem, as we here at Sucreabeille have an Extremely Generous Return Policy!

We’re committed to making the returns process simple and easy for you.

But first, a few things to note:

We really encourage you to wait to make a return until at least two weeks after the receipt of your order. Why? As indie perfume makers, we don’t use stabilizers in our blends like mass perfume manufacturers. That means that your scents might undergo the perfume equivalent of bottle shock in transportation, due to extreme fluctuations in temperature, aggressive package handling (tee hee), etc.

You can absolutely sniff your scents when they first arrive, but note that a resting period of at least a few days can make a world of difference in how a scent smells.

Store them in a cool, dry place for a little while and see how they can change. But, if you don't want to wait that long, we understand!

Returns must be initiated within 60 days of purchase.

There must be at least 75% of the product left in the container for us to accept the return.

If you don’t love a scent but would rather rehome it than return it, or swap it for something you know you love, we have an awesome swap/sell thread on our Facebook group (and it’s for all indie perfume companies, not just Suc). You can join our group here (https://facebook.com/groups/sucreabeille) and then search for “swap/sell” within the group. We post a new swap thread each month, sometimes two!

Sucreabeille reserves the right to limit returns if we have reason to suspect misuse of our Extremely Generous Return Policy (such as, but not limited to, excessive returns, reseller activity, or fraud).Items from the Indie Marketplace are eligible for return.

Items purchased from other retailers, dealers, or resellers and not directly from Sucreabeille are not eligible for return, refund, or exchange.

If you used Sugar Points on your original purchase, we will not be able to refund those to your account. Instead, we will give you a shop credit. (It's basically the same thing, it just won't be found under your Sugar Points.).Here's how it works: Send us an email with a note about what you’d like to return, and we’ll send you a shipping label. Send back the product according to the terms above. Once we receive it and make sure it’s eligible, we’ll issue you a shop credit or a refund to your original form of payment in the amount of the product plus your original shipping charge. We must receive the product before we can issue your credit or refund.

If you need help, send an email to shopsucreabeille@gmail.com. We’re happy to answer any questions you may have!

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