Salty as Fuck

This is an exclusive for our Patreon patrons during "The 13th Hour" event. This scent has not been released previously. If you order a 1oz, it will be on our generic handwritten label.

Scent Notes: This salty perfume smells like a totally unapologetic unfinished, yet somehow still haunted, lighthouse. A sea breeze and exposed beams, thick incense, cloves and burning candles. Cold stones crusted with dry salt, red musk and metallic saffron. Ozone, clary sage and... is that blood? Guaiac wood, and patchouli.

Salty As Fuck is a Flanker scent to Goth As Fuck (along with Petty As Fuck). We took Goth As Fuck and added a shipload of atmosphere and saltiness to it. Are we allowed to mix perfume on very salty days? Who’s going to stop us damnit!

When things don't go your way, you get SALTY.

Your mind becomes an abandoned lighthouse on the seaside that was only ever 3/4 finished because workers reported a bunch of weird shit happening and then one night there was a huge storm that washed so much kelp on to the shore that it clogged all of the equipment and no one ever saw Dave from accounting again. The salty sea sprays and waves crash on the rock below and you get into an anxiety spiral and the wind howls through the spaces between the stones. The light never worked, and sailors must be wary as they approach the coast (yes, this is a thinly veiled metaphor for being in a terrible mood and your loved ones being a little scared to be near you). Inexplicably, there are candles and incense burning all the time in the lighthouse, although no one remembers lighting them and they are definitely risky on account of all of the exposed beams, but the smell is pretty nice, so despite making people pretty nervous, no one tries to climb up there and put them out. The best thing you can do when you are visiting the salty lighthouse in your mind is to go lay down in the damp sand on your back with your eyes closed and breathe in the sea air.

Note: Beth, who has blended some of our most popular fragrances, also has a scent named Crux in her shop, Overmorrow, though these scents are very different takes on. the same concept! Click here to shop her version. If the link doesn't work, it's because the shop is currently offline and closed to orders. The link will only work when the shop is up and running, so try again in the future!