Serpent's Brew

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  • Scent Notes
    Fresh bamboo, sweet yuzu, an old, dusty library, exotic spices, smoky nag champa, ylang ylang.
  • Description

      Disclaimer: These are fictional stories for a real line of scents, based on the sales tactics of years ago, when products claimed to do everything imaginable. None of our scents are anything but that: scents. They do not, in any way, do anything other than smell good. So please do not try to drink them or think that they are actually miracle cures. They're just perfume!

      Scent Notes: Fresh bamboo, sweet yuzu, an old, dusty library, exotic spices, smoky nag champa, ylang ylang.

      It’s the voice you hear first. “Gather round! Gather round! Come one, come all, come and see Dr. Fantastic’s Wonderment Emporium!” You cut down the side street, and down another, following the voice, until you find yourself walking down a narrow alley. Skeptical and scared, you round a blind corner and find yourself dazzled by the display. On the cobblestone street is a makeshift stage and several large carriages stuffed with glass bottles of various sizes. A small boy is yelling in the street, drumming up a crowd. It’s his voice you followed. “The show is about to begin!” he shouts, grabbing the hand of a random woman walking down the street and dragging her to the stage. “You need this, I promise.” The boy runs and knocks on a carriage door, and a middle aged man bursts out, complete with cape and an eccentric top hat. “I am Dr. Fantastic!” he yells to the modest crowd, walking to the stage. “And I have the cure for what ails you! Whatever is wrong, my Serpent’s Brew will cure it.” He nods assuringly, then points to a random woman in the crowd. “You, miss. What’s bothering you today?” The woman looks flustered and gazes at the ground. She mumbles something incoherent. “Speak up, miss. I promise, whatever it is, Dr. Fantastic will cure you.” This time, when she speaks, her voice rings out clear. “I get the worst headaches, and my husband has blisters and warts on his hands and feet from all his hard labor. Our children are unruly, and I can’t seem to keep our floors clean.” She’s still looking at the ground, hands clasped in front of her. Dr. Fantastic walks into the crowd, takes her hand, and brings her onstage. “Do you have a headache now?” he asks her, gently. She nods. The little boy appears out of nowhere with a large brown bottle labeled SERPENT’S BREW. “Here, miss, take a swig. If your headache isn’t gone instantly, you can run me out of town.” The crowd eyes them both skeptically. Will it work? What does it taste like? She takes the bottle, gives him a sideways glance, pops the top, and takes a tentative sip. A second later, she takes a large chug. She pulls the bottle away, her eyes aglow. “Wow! My headache is gone, and I feel amazing! Plus, that tastes delicious! Will it help with my other problems?” she asks, clearly about to buy several bottles. “Yes, indeed! It cures headaches, warts, blisters, popcorn lung, unruly children, dirty floors, grease burns, hangnails, split ends, cottonmouth, dry skin, toothaches, swollen tonsils, and you can wear it as a perfume! The best part is: a bottle is only $2!” “Only $2?! I’ll take five bottles!” she says. At this point, the crowd has gone crazy, clamoring for a bottle. You start to walk away, knowing that while you’d love a bottle, you’re skeptical, and you don’t have $2 anyway. You feel a tug at your arm, and turn to see the small boy, who hands you a bottle. “On the house, this time,” he says with a wink. Dr. Fantastic is too busy with his paying customers to see, so you thank the boy and hustle back to your house, excited to clean your floors and try your new perfume.

      Scent Notes: Fresh bamboo, sweet yuzu, an old, dusty library, exotic spices, smoky nag champa, ylang ylang.

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